Moving

Well I'm tired of cutting and pasting so I'm making it official.  I'm moving here.

Feeling Woe oh oh feelings

One of the things I get with interacting with more and more people is the ability to work on the little parts of me that I can't do alone. Well I got hit with another one today. I've been enjoying the friendship with Spa girl and getting into my groove with it after setting some boundaries up. Anyway she was happy today since they were going to move the spa to a better location. It's a good move for them, but I was sad. Spa girl picked it up before it had even registered with me. I know it has nothing to do with her just old tapes.

When I was young I moved enough times to be an army brat. So having friends ripped away from me was common place. So nowadays when it happens and I'm not the cause it still brings up old wounds. So I'm just feeling them now. Most likely I didn't do them way back then that's for sure. The biggest thing for me is to just feel them and not try to down play or cover them up which are my old ways.

Ch...ch...changes

What I have learned over the years is that you never remove anything without putting some thing healthy in its place. I was going to let pizza choose my days that I worked then I realized I was being nuts. So I choose Wed and Fri so I could still have my weekends free and schedule patients. So I've opened the office later the other 3 nights since more people want to come in later. If I can fill these it will more than pay for not doing pizza. I can barely take doing it anymore. The biggest thing is the time to money ratio of both businesses. The other is being tired, wear and tear on the car, and always the threat of being jumped.

Talking to the MT today during my massage and she has decided not to move. Well this kind of changes my plans to open my extra room for a massage therapist. She still might move out of the park though so their is a chance. So I'm left wondering how to make that room make me money. A second treatment room doesn't really do it for me. I am thinking about just making it an office so all the paperwork is not out in front. I don't have to do anything today so it will take some thought.

Thursday 13

Thirteen Sexual Quotes.

1. "Anyone who says that gratuitous sex is no substitute for gratuitous violence obviously hasn't had enough gratuitous sex." (Geoff Spear)
2. "I love sex. It's free and doesn't require special shoes." (Anonymous)
3. "For me, love is very deep, but sex only has to go a few inches." (Stacy Nelkin)
4. "Housework is like bad sex. Every time I do it I swear I will never do it again. Until the next time company comes." (Marilyn Sokol)
5. "The only difference between friends and lovers is about four minutes." (Scott Roeben)
6. "There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that." (Lewis Grizzard)
7. "I read so many bad things about sex that I had to give up reading." (Anonymous)
8. "Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them." (Kevin Costner, Tin Cup)
9. "Just saying 'no' prevents teenage pregnancy the way 'Have a nice day' cures chronic depression." (Faye Wattleton)
10. "I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible." (Leslie Nielsen)
11. "Science is a lot like sex. Sometimes something useful comes of it, but that's not the reason we're doing it." (Richard Feynman)
12. "If sex doesn't scare the cat, you're not doing it right." (Anonymous)
13. "I've tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic and the others give me a stiff neck or lockjaw." (Tallulah Bankhead)

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Yes This Again

This is totally my problem with Spa girl. She is so damn attractive. While a deeper relationship has left my mind, sex is still there. Although I know you don't sleep with the crazy lady if you don't want a relationship. Truth be told it's not my style either so I know I'm not in good waters. So I know if I keep talking (blogging) about it the less chance I have of doing anything.

Well I finally got Christmas cards done and out today. 59 went out today and I know I'll have a few more as more new patients come in. However I'm happy to have than done with.

The biggest hurdle I seem to be dealing with now is having a "normal" life. Worked very hard over the last 7 years to get to this point where most things in my life are calm and the extreme dramas of the past are gone. However I feel sort of empty without it. The constant pressure has been lifted and I feel its absence and I don't know what to make of it. I know gratitude for having these calm days would help, but I am still stuck on where's the shit?

UG

Early morning business meeting, long day at work, gym, and dancing the night away has made me tired. My brain is actually fuzzy. It was a good day and I so do not want to go to pizza tomorrow. With the office doing well I just don't want to work the hours for small pay. However I know December is a slow month for everyone except retail. So I worry. I'll keep it twice a week until the holidays are over and then make a decision.

Perceptions and reality are funny things. Talking to MT today and while I was mentioning I taught Eric some boxing she was like I didn't know you do that. She knew some of the list, but when I reviewed the boxing, Filipino stick fighting, Wing Chun, other kung fu styles, and some fencing. I was pretty impressed with myself. I have done a lot in a while, but it's all still stored up in my brain. I forget life has been full.

The other is women. As many of my friends point out I seem to have no trouble finding women even though it never feels that way. Although I talk about many of the women I go out with or try to. There is always a slew of them that for some reason or another never work out. Take a women at the bar tonight during salsa. We were doing a complicated move so my attention was on that. However I looked up and this women is giving me the eye with a big smile. The litmus test on her was pretty neutral which was strange and rare. So I went back to dancing figuring I could figure it out afterwards, but she left. No biggie. I guess my old like of being young and nervous to ask women out hasn't fully moved up to the present.

TMI Tuesday

1. Are you a member of the mile high club? No. I tried to suggest that to the ex, but that went over like a lead balloon.

2. What is the most public place you have ever had sex? An office, but it was behind closed doors.

3. What is your most embarrassing family moment? Wow. I don't embarrass easy and nothing comes to mind. Wait when I was 3 my brother's GF made a birthday cake for me and put it on the table under a Tupperware cover. I made plenty of roads in that icing. It was a big surprise for everyone when it was uncovered.

4. What kind of birth control do you use? condoms. I rather use them than rely on someone else.

5. Have you ever had sex in the snow? Rain? God no. I like to be relaxed and not freezing.

Bonus (as in optional):Describe your flirting technique: innuendo, telling a dirty joke, talking about sex life, or physical contact? I don't really have one except being real.

That's Odd

Spa girl called me before I left the office to tell me how it went at the doctor's. She said that she had torn a muscle in her shoulder and gave her some medication. I explained a few things to her about it and offered if she wanted to stop by tomorrow I would take a look at it for her.

She then said we would have to celebrate my birthday another night. ??????????? I didn't know we were celebrating tonight? Glad I'm in the loop. This seems to be getting weirder by the day. Friend status might be pushing it here. The witness protection program is looking pretty good about now.

Celebration

Jeez even with 3 reschedules I was still able to pull off a new record for busiest day. I was feeling really cocky this morning since I was way over in the books and figured even with the usual reschedule I would be okay. Then it started and I actually dipped down below. Oh the horror. Will I never break 5 in a day. Then the phone started ringing and people wanted to come in. So it is a nice B-day present to me to do 6. That's the small celebration the big one is that I am way over my month record with four more days to go. It will be a record week if all goes well. I need to talk to my manager and tell her only 2 days a week. I marked it on the sheet for 3, but she ignored it. I want my free time now.

Well its Really Official

Well I'm officially in my forties today. Yes I'm 41 not that I really care. I friend asked that the other day and I was like whatever. Since I've been on my own the past few years the birthday hasn't been that big. I guess with no one to really celebrate with it does lose some of its luster.

I was hoping to break a record today which would have been a nice present. Well my first patient rescheduled. However 3 others wanted to come in. So that puts me past it with some to spare. Now I just have to wait.

Well I'm going to go out dancing tonight to celebrate my birthday. I haven't been able to make Monday nights for the last 2 weeks so it will be good to get back. Also I know many people there so it will be nice. I bought myself the first half of my presents for myself yesterday. I got Teen Titans season 4 and the new Futurama book since I'm a huge fan. I'll buy the new movie when it comes out tomorrow to finish up the presents. Hey got to be good to myself.

Run! Run Very Fast

Well Spa girl called me to wish me a Happy Birthday. I was with a patient so I called her back. I come to find out that she had fallen down the stairs due to one of the dogs. When she feel apart on the phone it was like dealing with my ex. That also was the exact feeling I had when she cancelled on Saturday sine it was one of my ex's big excuses. The want to slam the phone down and run was big. However I am very grateful not to be in the relationship cause I would be jumping ship right now.

Sunday in Review

Well I do want to thank everyone for their views on my decision on Spa Girl. While I know the choice is right I usually get somewhat anxious after making it. Also the benefit from hearing from so many is different aspects I hadn't really thought of or clarifying my own thoughts. So I seem to have no trouble finding women or them finding me in the last few cases. So no worries and no rush.

Since the time change I've been getting up at 5:30 then falling back to sleep a couple of hours later which really suck during the work week. I thought I was over it when I slept well Friday night, but I was back on schedule last night. So I finished watching the 40 Year Old Virgin which was great and vacuuming. When I finally did get back up half the day was gone. So I ran a few errands before stopping at Starbucks to read.

I had to groan when I walked in there. Three of the four soft chairs were taken and the one that was open was next to Yellow Tooth (hey he has this one front tooth that is yellow). Yellow tooth is nuts and I try my damnest to stay away from him since he likes to talk. However I hate reading in the wooden chairs. Hey I have a sensitive butt. So I made the decision to sit next to Yellow Tooth with the hopes of him finding some other victim. No such luck although it did take him awhile. He wanted my input on his career choice and moving to Fairfax or Raleigh. Now I would love to give this low grade moron some misinformation, but really believe he would use it and I didn't want that on my conscience. So in a nice way I conveyed that I didn't give a shit what the hell he did and went back to my book. Hey I didn't pay $4.48 for a latte to talk to Yellow Tooth. So after a while he put his sights on the two other guys in the soft chair across the room. Yes their is no escape from Yellow Tooth.

While he was still talking to them which must have been like 20 minutes. I headed out to the office to continue cleaning out my storage room. It's amazing when you haven't used stuff in 2-3 years that it is so easy to get rid off. Slowly but surely I'll have that room nice and trim. I was also able to extract some holiday decorations for my room.

Time to Cut Bait

That didn't take long. Spa girl called me tonight and she was still at work with clients. I was happy that she was busy, but I was surprised since the spa closed like 2 hours prior. Anyway she wanted to cancel tomorrow since she would be too tired to go to the museum. For me that's a deal breaker. I've spent a lot of my life living with other people's limitations and not doing all the stuff I like to do. I do two jobs, salsa, work out, and a bunch of other things. Sometimes all in the same day. I want a person to keep up with me instead of me slowing down for them. So Spa girl gets put on the friends list. That little break for me makes it easier for me to put her there. I'll be happy to do things with her, but only high energy people need apply.

Saturday Hoo Haa

Well I have the place to myself for one more day. Port Girl is up in Conn. and Quiet Guy is house sitting this weekend. My landlord is working down at the hotel and not here so it's nice. What was really nice was getting home from pizza early to relax and enjoy. I only schedule myself for 3 days next week and I hope to keep it that way or less from now on. I had a lot of reschedules over the last 2 days so we'll see. One patient equals a night of work.

Spa girl is calling ever so often to talk and see how I am doing. She called before asking if I could get her a Starbucks on my way in. I didn't mind, but it did crystallize what I was thinking for tomorrow when we went to the museum. Since we were friends now who was paying. My head was still a little fuzzy on the point since I still would like to date her. However I had no problem setting my boundary when she asked how much she owed me and telling how much it was. I know I would get resentful to pay if we weren't dating.

I have to admit with the lack of any truly romantic qualities I can see what is and isn't there. While Spa girl is smart and personable she has these holes in confrontation. I know them well so I can see them. Like everything I will see how it goes. What I am making sure is that I am not altering my life for her. Not doing my things like going to Starbucks to read or hanging around hoping she'll stop by.

I did make a good purchase over at Best Buy today. I got the Superman Returns, Monty Python's Holy Grail, Borat, and 40 Year Old Virgin. The last 2 I haven't seen, but wanted to and at $5 it was the same price as renting.

When Mike Met Spa Girl the movie

Spa girl just stopped by and we chatted and I treated her. I understood Annie's comment:


That is too bad about Spa Girl, Mike. If you truly have feelings for her (want a romantic relationship), then RUN. She will break your heart as a 'friend' and it won't change - trust me on this one. It'll just be a torment to you why you think this gorgeous girl doesn't appreciate you...


I could feel the pain if we stayed friends and it didn't progress. I know she is 3 years behind me in the whole process thing and that still doesn't seem to matter. I'm doing well in not trying to save her which is a big defect of mine. The second is always putting two much energy into things that don't help me. Over the past 2-3 weeks I've gotten better in the area of work with this which is huge for me. However in relationships I've had little practice over the last few years so I see this as my new lesson. So I will see how things go for a little while with Spa girl. My belief is that the friend comment was more of a security thing to see if I was a bump and would run or if I was in it for the long haul. If I see we are truly going for the friends route then I need to limit my energy in to this endeavor. Since I'm happy for the friendship, but it's not helping me with a relationship.

Thanksgiving

Well I had a rough night last night. I was too warm since it was in the upper 70's today and I still had all my stuff on my bed. So when I woke up to cool off I cooled off too much and I was awake. It took a long while to fall back to sleep and when I did Port girl who I thought would be in Conn. decided to move stuff out of her room between 6-8 am. So a little tired today.

On the good note I was happy to find Starbucks open so I could get something to drink and relax. Then it was off to my Mom's to visit her.

During the morning Spa girl kept calling me to update times when we getting together. It kept getting pushed back so I went to the office a decorated it for the holidays.

One thing that always comes to mind when I see Spa girl is wow she is gorgeous. She wasn't nervous today and I was okay with meeting her family. I got to meet her mom, sister, BIL, SIL, and nephew. It was a fun day and a long time since I had thanksgiving with many people. I got to play with the dog and hold the baby for a long time both of which were fun.

During the events Spa girl and I talked. I sort of got the friends speech. She needed a friend now since she doesn't know about a relationship at this time. I wasn't super happy to hear, but I kind of knew it. I still got a lot of hugs and a smooch at the end of the night. We plan on getting together on Sunday to hit the art museum.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things You Can Get Away with Saying on Thanksgiving

1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
4. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
5. It’s a little dry do you still want to eat it?
6. Don't play with your meat.
7. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
8. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
9. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
10.You still have a little bit on your chin.
11.You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
12.Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
13.That's the biggest one I've ever seen!

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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Post Date Report

Here it is everyone so you can go to sleep for tomorrow's big day. It worked out well that I got out of pizza early so I could get freshened up before I met with Spa girl. Actually I was ready 30 minutes, but Spa girl needed the whole time so we got together at 8 like we said we would. She said she was very nervous as soon as she walked in my office. I told her I was nervous myself, but that meant it was important to me. She liked her flower that I had for her. So then we headed over to the sushi place.

We had a blast and it was only when I realized that the whole place was empty and the staff was cleaning did I realize they must be closed. It then dawned on me what the waitress had been doing a while earlier. Oh well I tipped her well for the time.

I was surprised that Spa girl asked if some of her things were deal breakers for me. It was nice. I also knew she was new to dating again and this was a rookie move, but it was nice to know that it was important for her to know. We talked and joked about a lot of stuff and really enjoyed each others company.

The best was when we got back to the office and we were talking about desserts. She was saying how she loved ice cream. So I had to ask what flavors.

Her: I love them all. (and started going thought the flavors) Vanilla is okay.
Me: Vanilla is just okay?
Her: I do like vanilla
Me: Just like?

Then it hit her and she started laughing hard. When you have the last name Vanella you got to have fun with people. Anyway I'm meeting her tomorrow to go to her family's Thanksgiving dinner. We made plans to roller blade and go to some comedy events which will be fun.

Oh yeah I finally got to kiss her. It was just a smooch, but it was nice. I was happy to have felt her lips.

Changes

Well Spa girl stopped by and asked if we could do dinner instead of lunch since they were busy over at the spa. I was okay with that as long as we could do it after 8 when I got of pizza. Hopefully it will be dead and I can get off early. I'm a lot happier with this since we don't have to rush back and it's more official than our coffee date. So I'm very excited. She also asked me to come to Thanksgiving at her mom's house. I would like to go, but I don't want to leave my landlord alone. I'll talk to him and see if we can do our normal late dinner and I'll see Spa girl at her early dinner.

Besides that it has been a busy morning with everyone wanting to get in so they can get on the road. Now I need to find something to keep me busy till tonight. I finally got my favorite Woody Allen movie "Play it Again Sam." If you've never seen it you need to.

It's Official

Okay it's official I must really like Spa girl. I just let her pluck out my ear hair. I never let my ex do that since I hate having hair plucked. Why cause it freakin' hurts. However I let her do both ears after she cleaned my hair up. This could be really nice. She can come over for adjustments and I can get my hair cleaned up. Never knew how nice it could feel. Also Spa girl confirmed for me that my hair is growing really fast. It has been since I've been living down here. She said it must be all the stress free living which is so true. Not being with my ex dropped so much stress out of my life it's like day and night.

Hey and the phone just keeps on ringing. People want to come in. I'm loving life here.

Oh yeah since I was over with Spa girl I nailed her down for a date and we're going for sushi tomorrow for lunch. Very cool.