Lying in bed this morning I found the answer to my question I had asked myself last week. What am I looking to get out of a relationship? Healthier traits. As I watched April move through the room last night I saw that she is more healthier than I in relationships. She is casual and has distinct boundaries. We could separate do our own thing and come back together without a hitch. Something I am not use to with my ex. I also see I will be working on one of me defects with her (many I know), but in certain areas she wants me to lead and I know myself. When faced with uncertainty I will wait for the other person in a relationship which isn't always the best.
One thing that really struck me last night was that I'm not ready emotionally to have sex with this woman. Not that I was looking to hop into bed with her fast. It was just a sobering thought. The last woman I was intimate with was my ex over 2 1/2 years ago. The one woman in that time that I dated that wanted to have sex with me I said I needed time and then proceeded to dump me. No regrets with my decision then and still none today. No real direction with this just feelings.
The other thing I realized with April last night is that she wants to be with me and there is no need which is a good thing.
2 comments:
This all sounds so, gosh, healthy! :) Which is good. I like hearing all of this for you, Mike. And the photos hehehe. Does she know that you have a journal? Oh, and so you saw her last night, too. I need to catch up on journal reading. -- Robin
No sex in 2 1/2 years???? Holy shit...yes i am still reading you... ;-)
Lyn
http://journals.aol.com/ukgal36/Britsblog/
P.S How old is April?? her friends look like my kids....
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