Christmas Lists

Christmas Lists

Top 10 Things that Sound Dirty at Christmas, But Aren’t

1. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall.
2. Can I interest you in some dark meat?
3. From here you can’t tell if they’re artificial or real.
4. I love licking the end till it’s really sharp and pointy.
5. Did you get a piece of the fruitcake?
6. Lift up the skirt so I can get a clean breath.
7. Santa’s sack is really bulging.
8. Check out Rudolph’s Honker!
9. I think your balls are hanging too low.
10. Did you get any under the tree?

Santa's Pickup lines;

1. Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?
2. Wanna see my 12-inch elf?
3. I`ve got something special in the sack for you!
4. Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?
5. I know when you`ve been bad or good--so let`s skip the small talk, sister!
6. Some of my best toys run on batteries... (wink wink)
7. Interested in seeing the "North Pole"? (Well, that`s what the Mrs. calls it.)
8. I see you when you`re sleeping--and you don`t wear any underwear, do you?
9. Screw the "nice" list--I`ve got you on my "naughty" list!
10. Wanna join the "Mile High" club?