Politically Correct

I borrowed this from my friend Redsonya.  My favorite is the men's #2.

Due to the climax of political correctness now
pervading America,

HOW TO SPEAK TO A WOMAN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a
"BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY
ACCESSIBLE."

3 . She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a
"LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION
SUPERHIGHWAY."

4 . She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a
"PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

5 . She is not an "AIR HEAD" - She is "REALITY
IMPAIRED."

6 . She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets
"CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"

7 . She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY
REPETITIVE."

8 . She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY
EXTROVERTED."

9 . She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She
is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

1 0 . She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a
"LOW COST PROVIDER."

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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has
developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY
CAUCASIAN."

3 He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He
"INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE
REGRESSION"

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers
"GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He
becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He
develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8 He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has
"SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is
"RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

1 0 . It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of
his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE"