Street Legal

Well I found myself back in court again this morning for the signing of my divorce papers. I had a 9:30 docket and the judge was going to see it. Thank you. I get called in at noon. My new phrase for the week WTF! I missed an appointment since I knew it would take all of 60 seconds to take care of. The funny thing was that it was so anticlimactic and fast that I wasn't quite sure it was done until the judge started talking about the next case. Hey at least it is finally done after a little over 3 years. Let the celebration begin.

Feeling better than I did last night, but still surprised to find out L is so manipulative. For me I had thought I had gotten over that hurdle. The major women in my life have all been that way and I had hoped that I had worked through choosing them. My Mom's the big one and I guess she is my blueprint for a woman somewhere deep down. I remember doing exercises when I had first separated and the negative words that described the women in my life would be manipulative and sly. While they had good traits it would be these two traits that drove them in the relationship to whatever comfort zone they were looking for. Now I wonder if L will be following my movements with dancing since she knows of it.

Marking Her Territory

Well pizza was slow tonight so I was able to get out early and get to salsa in plenty of time. The bartender was a woman I remembered from HK when L and I use to go there. So we talked a little since she didn't remember me. Anyway since the salsa group has many regulars I talked to a few until class started. Now I have come to find out that there are 2 different types of salsa. One on 1 and the other on 2. What the hell that means is beyond me, but that is the difference between Mondays & Tuesdays classes compared with Thursday class. Anyway I did well since their is good instruction. Afterwards I danced with a few of the different ladies (as always there is far too many guys). They all had danced for at least a year and said I was doing very well for my week and a half.

Anyway I'm dancing with one lady when suddenly I get poked on my sides. I turn around and it's L. WTF? I know a lot of people in this city and I NEVER run into them so what's up with this. So she gives me one of her full body hugs. I make quick small talk since I would like to get back to dancing, but I notice she had already found someone else. L talks a little while longer and goes over to her date, Sunglass guy. It's 10:30 at night and it's dim in the place what the hell do you need sunglasses for. Anyway I pull up a wall to watch the experience dancers dance and see what I can become if I keep with it. I try not to notice L and her date going at it at the bar. Then it kind of hits me this misty eyedness. I don't really feel anything, but I have that feeling like I want to cry, but I'm not. I have no want to go since this is my time. So I sit back and relax. At some point L comes over to me sliding her arm across my chest and asks why I'm not dancing. I tell her at this time it's all the experienced dancers who have done so for years. That's when I realized she's marking me to the room. Touch is possession. That's when I fully see the manipulator under the mask and I become frosty. My answers become short and my body language changed. I don't think L knew what to make of it, but she pulled back. She left her hand on my chest, but she had lost my attention. Slowly she went back to her guy and they went back to groping each other. I felt better and went back to dancing until 11 when I decided to leave.

I still feel that misty eyed feeling and I'm not quite sure where my emotions are. I don't think they are truly tied to L, but something older that she has reopened. It just feels right is all I can say. For me it is time for me to feel my feelings to probably another old feeling that was buried alive.

Hey It's Christmas

I guess the universe does love me. Two fellow bloggers or would it be bloggettes have declared a boobage war. Yes true English words have gone out the window, but who cares. I've been asked to judge this contest of mammaries. This war has become fierce and two others have been drawn into this contest of bloggetes gone wild. Anyway I'm spreading the word to help get votes for these lovely ladies and if anyone else wants to join in let them know. There will be no foriegn objects allowed although this no nudity rules needs to be thrown out to have a real contest.

The Contestants

MistressM - Cinnkitty - SWF42 - MistressYoda

Yesterday

It was truly weird to have yesterday off from both jobs. Salsa was cancelled. Free time? What the hell is this? Well I took care of all the stuff I have been pushing off for the last few weeks and got it done, plus relaxed. However I still had free time before I got together with friends last night. I know enough people that do nothing and I strive not to be that way. So I remembered Baxter's in Norfolk near where we were suppose to meet up. It was nice I got to play a few games and enjoy myself. However tobacco is still the number 1 crop here so smoking is still in a lot of establishments and the laws to ban them have been shot down. It's a weird state. Like you can wear a gun in the open here since it is not a concealed weapon. Just have a licence. If you put it under your jacket then you're breaking the law. Weird.

TMI Tuesdays

I Kiss & Tell

1. What did you eat for dinner yesterday? Spaghetti with meatballs and a side of green beans.

2. How much cash is in your purse/wallet right now? $200. Just about to go to the bank to make a deposit.

3. What have you done to avoid being flirted with by someone you didn't like? Avoidance works pretty well.

4. Do you believe the theory "Once a cheater always a cheater"? No. I think everyone has a chance at redemption.

5. Describe your sex life in two words. Non existent

Bonus (as in optional): Would you/have you ever paid money for sex? No on both accounts. Just has no appeal to me.

Role Playing Part 2

Boy did I get a lot of emails on this one. The biggest thing I needed to clear up was that putting on a just a costume is dress up. When you role play you become someone different. It's almost like therapy between the people involved. You get to express yourself freely and really push the envelope with yourself. RP Girl wanted to improve her sexual relationships. I just like it. As you work your way through it you find out things about yourself. What you like and don't like in a different light. The biggest thing I can say is your sex life is changed forever.

 

Visualizations

When I had my session with Energy Girl the other day, one of the things I wanted to work on were my girl friend relations. She asked who was my role model for a good relationship. She responded by saying, "I can se by your manical laughter you don't have anyone". I have no role models in my life and I never had. Nothing for a man, father, husband, etc. The people in my life have never been the best and I've just muddled my way through it. It's probably why I have many abilities, but lack the ability to visualize. I can imagine, but to actually visualize escapes me. In business it seems to affect me the most in how to steer the business to a distant point when all I can do is a few feet. Relationships are a little easier since I have learned my part. Intergrating with another person can be bumpy, but I think my choices of women are still not the greatest. However I remember what my therapist said when I spearated from my ex. You won't be able to go from her to a healthy relationship. It will take steps.