Weekend Trip

This was the first time I left really early in the morning for the trip. It worked out well even with the rain.  I got to shop, grab a nap and shower before I picked up Eric feeling pretty refreshed which is new.  What happened to my little boy?  He grew about an inch since I saw him in February and his mannerisms are changing also.  We had a great time with wrestling around the house, going to the museums and McDonalds play place.  As you can see by the pictures we got the soda volcanoes going and Eric was very happy with them.  Afterwards we hung out on the beach and the jetties.

Sunday as always was a somber day.  We both can feel the hours ticking away.  I found myself in a old role of wanting to keep moving with our activities.  My time with L has taught me a lot and I slowed myself down.  I know when I am in that mode I'm in discomfort and want to get out of it.  So the realization that I still bury some of my feelings with being separated from Eric.  So I worked on experiencing them this weekend which isn't fun, but healthier.

Thursday was Date Night

It was good to see L.  See was stressed from work with paperwork.  So we talked about it.  I felt bad for Trevor her dog who came over with a ball and dropped it at my feet to play.  After talking I offered L a hair brushing when we got back from dinner which she happily accepted.

I see L doesn't handle stress very well.  I wanted to say it bothered me, but it didn't.  It's hers, she doesn't do anything stupid while stressed, and she doesn't take it out in me.  So I'm good with it.  I went through some thought on whether it would be a problem, but the realization that we will have differences and nothing will be perfect.  As long as things can be handled in a healthy manner.

 

Did Someone Leave the Refrigerator Door Open?

It's been real hot here the last few days like the 80's.  I checked the weather for the next few days.  It will be in the 70's here and the 60's in NY.  Sounds good.  I was so happy to have my jacket in my arm when I went out the door this morning.  It was in the 40's.  WTF!  The weather man kept saying it was going to get into the 70's today, but I really don't think that is going to happen. 

Anyway I finished getting all my stuff for my trip.  I made sure to pick up the diet coke and I was surprised it was hard finding Mentos.  I only found the chewy type.  Not quite sure if that is going to work for the soda fountains.  I'll have to check in the rest stops for the regular type.  Hopefully the weather will be nicer up there so we can do it on the beach.  That is if I can stay with my friend.  Great guy, but this last minute telling me if I can stay with him is problematic.

Handicap

I think when all doctor's graduate they should be labeled writing impaired and given the same rights as any handicap person.  So I went to the DMV to get my decals today.  I was 11th in line and only one teller for my situation.  Argh!  The good thing is that it was taking so long 4 people bailed.  I was so tense when she called two before my number.  That person wasn't around.  Then the number before mine.  I was dying.  Hoping they had already left since I needed to be across the street at a business meeting.  That person was gone so I was called.  The lady laughed at me she said she could see my tension.  Anyway she took one look at my form and was like I can't understand any of this.  I apologized said I was a doctor and she was okay with that.   

Police and Phone Calls

Running errands today I was pulled over by the cops.  I was really surprised when I saw the lights start flashing.  Anyway the cop asked if I knew why I was pulled over.  I was like I didn't have a clue.  He was like you have expired tags on my license plate.  Thinking it over I knew I paid my registration, but I come to think of it I don't remember getting new tags.  Being from NY I'm not use to this tag system so if they don't show up it's okay with me.  The cop said I was nice so just show up at court with it fixed and 95% chance they'll throw it out.  So I'll see how much the ticket is and if it's worth losing the time from work to go down to the court.

Talking on the phone with L has become really enjoyable now.  I know she says she doesn't like the phone, but she has warmed up very well on it.  She finally used her TV today and promptly fell asleep.  LMAO.  I can see this plasma TV is really going to get used.  I told her I would lend her my movies to watch over the weekend while I was gone.  So we'll get together Thursday and I'll leave early the next morning for NY.

Flat Feet

I visited my friend today for my weekly adjustment.  She finally got her computerized scanner up for orthotics.  So we scanned me to see how it worked.  Afterwards she was like "wow" you really have FLAT feet.  I said I know my ex use to call me the "archless freak". 

It did remind me of when I went swimming with the dolphins wow that was a while ago.  It was before Eric was even a glimmer in our eyes.  Anyway one thing they did is that they push you on the bottom of your feet through the water really fast.  For some reason they had a hard time with me.  I kept feeling them poking my feet.  I guess my flat feet through them.

Tuesday?

I guess I missed Monday on entries?  Oh well.  I tell you between networking and patients the day goes fast.  I just wish I had more patients.  In that area I joined a BNI group this morning.  Third time is the charm.  The first two I was okay with, but I really liked this morning's one so I slapped down my application and fee.  Truly one good patient covers the cost.  However I did jump into extreme financial fear mode yesterday when I was looking at my finances.  As usual the office pays for itself, but with out the valet there is nothing paying for me.  So all I see is a drain on my account which isn't that thick to begin with.  Poverty hits me in the stomach and I panic.  Once I reeled myself in I know I am working my damnest to make sure this doesn't happen.  So with that in hand I felt better, but it's hit or miss for a while.

I need to sit down again and rework out my schedule so I can squeeze in some more workouts and at least one yoga class a week.  All these early morning business meetings are biting into my routine.

I'll start packing up today for my weekend with Eric.  I'll just leave from L's house early Friday morning and get a get to NY earlier than usual.  There is no reason to go back home and then just leave.  We are both excited about the visit.  After this I'll see him for the summer.  I was bummed I couldn't find him any camps at the rec center this year.  A half day camp works wonders for both of us.  He gets some kid time and I get some time to do some work.

Thoughts on L

Talking to a friend today about L I realized probably why L still has some trepidation with me.  I'm nice to her.  I know her parents weren't the best and she doesn't seem to see the little put downs that the men in her life have told her.  Like she was saying yesterday an old boyfriend had said she had a big nose.  WTF?  L has a small nose, but she now believes it.  The same when we were talking last night and she said how her ex use to joke that she was eurotrash.  The joke came up in my mind, but I would never say to her that she was trash.  It's rude and not nice.  I think she is use to there being some kind of abuse at some level and since their is none with me I think she doesn't know what to think.  Even though it is healthier we are drawn to what we are use to.

Saturday with L

Well L and I went out to get her a plasma TV and a DVD player.  We stopped for lunch at Taste so we could eat outside.  We did entertain many people by hugging and dancing in the store.  Happy to make someone else's day. 

We went to many places to check for a system for her.  The biggest problem seem to be that black has come back into fashion.  Every 5-8 years the silver to black happens.  L liked silver better so that made it a little more difficult.  We finally found what she wanted in Walmart in a 42", but they were all out and she settled for a 32".  The true funny thing is that she doesn't have cable nor a single DVD.  So I really had to laugh as she is paying all this money for the stuff.  L was like I'll get stuff from Blockbuster.  I was like you could just keep the TV you have and get the DVD player.  That didn't fly since she was focused on getting the stuff.  She was very happy for all the help.

So anyway we get the stuff in her truck and she walks the cart to the wagon corral.   I grab her truck and drive down to pick her up.  When I get to her I roll the window down and ask her if she wants a ride.  She yells out "sure blow job is $20!"  I start laughing till I see all the guys faces in the area.  I lose it LMAO!

I got a double your money gift certificate for a place called Zoe's.  It's a fancy restaurant and this is the only way I'll pay the money for the place.  Nice place,  good staff, but I wasn't impressed with the food.  However with the extra money L got a second glass of wine.  So afterward we went to out usual HK for coffee and tea.  L didn't hear the bartender ask her is she wanted Bailey's in her drink.  L is good with 2 drinks, but 3 is a little different.  So she is a lot more open with me with 3 drinks in her.  Mostly she is telling me about men she had known during or before her marriage that now that she is single want to go out with her and she doesn't want to go out with them.  Some of them are being persistent.  I had to admit I was jealous of these guys wanting to go out with her.  It took me a while to work it out.  These guys may want to go out with her, but has decided to go out with me.  So that says something about me which is still a hard pill to swallow.  To fully believe this I have to accept my good traits and in some parts it is still a round peg in a square hole.

Health Fair

My health fair went okay.  The problem was that the race was outside as was most of the activities.  People only came into go to the bathroom so traffic was low, but I did get a few leads.  However on the other vendors tried to poison me with her nasty ass stuff.  I could tell she was a hard line sales person when she stopped by.  I said hello and she replied, but snubbed the massage therapist next to me.  All she waned me to do was try her nutritional juice.  Let me tell you it was half a shot glass worth.  I drank half and she was all of it.  I got it all down and she was like it's good stuff.  I was like it is terrible and ran for water.  I tell you I was drinking water for a good 30 minutes trying to get the taste out of my mouth.  People did like the stuff, but not me.

Our First Hurdle

It was good to good to see L last night.  She seemed to be distracted though.  We decided to go get some sushi.  We talked in the car and L was sad that her friend J was gone all week.  I was surprised how disturbed she was by this.  We talked about Virginia Tech and she got very upset with that so I changed the topic.  Dinner was very different in that L just let me order and she was quiet.  I figured she was disturbed by VA tech since she had cried in the car.  After dinner I finally said do you want to talk about something.  She said lets go.  I was happy that we held hands in the car in that she still wanted the connection. 

When we got back to her place she sat down and was very serious.  She said a guy she had a one night stand a long time ago had called to tell her he had lied and that he had herpes.  Although he was taking medication for years and was inactive at the time he was with her, but the lie was eating at him.  L had talked to her doctor and she said that if something was going to happen it would of and the type the guy had was harder to transfer.  L was really scared when she said, "you can leave if you want."  I was okay with it.  I asked a few questions to my satisfaction.  I think L was scared that she could lose me over something she didn't have control over.  Also I think she was waiting for me to be angry and she was puzzled when I wasn't.  I told her she had been honest with me and I knew it had been hard on her. 

When I told her I loved her as one of the reason I was still there that was our next conversation.  She said she really cared for me, but didn't know if she loved me.  I was okay with that.  I told her I said it because that is how I felt and I need to be true to my feeling.  I also was not saying it to hear anything back.  I was happy to hear her say she knew that.  She was just worried with it being unbalanced was that bothering me and I was like no.

So the last thing we talked about was VA Tech.  L said she doesn't handle death very well.  So she cried a lot and tried to make sense of it all.  I told her killing another human being is insane and you can't make sense out of something that is insane.  She felt bad for being a baby and crying.  I told her crying should she was a loving individual. 

For me it was a great night of intimacy.  Something I really enjoy.  Then it all made sense.  All this stuff came up at one time and L's friend J wasn't around to talk to and she hates the phone.  I know if I couldn't talk to anyone in a crisis I would hang myself.  So L knows that she can call me now and I can come over to talk if she has a problem.  It was nice to see her relax and sleep like a baby last night.

It's Just Business

These early morning networking events are way too early, however they have been free.  Most likely cause no one in there right mind would pay to get up early.  Anyway it has been netting me some patients which is good.  I need to announce more that insurance pays for chiropractic care since no one thinks it does. 

One of the guys I met last week at a networking function stopped by today to chat.  He is going to try and hook me up with some of the medical offices in the area.  Now that would be great since your medical doctor saying go to me is like gold and very little sell on my part.  Most patients just do what there medical doctor tells them.  I wonder if he/she said, "just give me all your money" would it work.  Or do you have to do it the hard way and bounce them from one office to the next?

A little nervous I have back to back to back patients this afternoon.  I'm use to having a little space in between patients which I like since I HATE having patients wait.  If it happens we'll all live with it though.  I might be prescribing a special mattress to one of my patients today.  Haven't done it before so it's going to be weird. 

Tell you a day doesn't seem to go by that I am not networking, but I have to admit it is paying off so I'm happy about it.  Also grateful for everyone helping me along the way.  It is too easy for me to overlook the good things happening.

It will be nice to end a busy day by seeing Leo.

Phone Calls Part 2

Talking to Eric today who is still home from school since mom is sick and grandpa sleeps late.  (insert the sound of me shaking my head)  Hell in second grade I was responsible for getting to the school bus to get to school. The other problem is that Eric hasn't bathed in 5 days.  His excuse is that he is not use to his grandpa helping him and mom is too sick.  Funny he does it by himself when I'm with him.  I suggested that he watch his face and arms in the sink.  He said he didn't want to.  Oh well.  This is always my worry of not making Eric self sufficient like my ex isn't.  (insert more sounds of me shaking my head).

Tuesday in Review

I had to get up early for me this morning to go to a networking meeting.  It was weird.  I went to one last week and I liked everyone, but I knew I wouldn't get any business from them.  Today I knew I wouldn't be friends with anyone, but I knew I would get business. So far one new patient and I'm working on 2 others.  I don't know, but the gut does.

I started with Juice Plus today.  I'm pretty good with my veggies, but fruit forget about it.  I'm lucky to get my one day requirements in a months time.  I was talking to the people and it's fruit and veggies dried down to capsule form.  I'll see how it goes and if it is a help to getting all my nutrients.

I tell you between all the marketing, networking, and patients I'm tired.  I got use to being slow and now I'm pretty busy throughout the day.  It's nice to see some fruition of my work.  The networking has done the best for me in the smallest amount of time so I will keep with it.  I'm still not quite sure about the BNI groups though.

L and I had our best talk tonight.  We both seemed to relax more and have fun besides being playful with each other.  So we'll see each other Thursday and Saturday I'll go with her to get a plasma TV and DVD player.  L seems uncertain that I won't be bored with the shopping.  She doesn't seem to get that I'm just happy to be with her.

Phone Talks

I got to talk to Eric today and we had a fun conversation.  He got a Tamogochi for Easter and I got to hear how it's doing and evolving.  Eric seems to be doing well as a dad.  My gripe is that he didn't go to school today.  My ex had a stomach virus and couldn't take him.  They live with her dad.  Eric has friends on the block.  I never liked this intertwined life. 

It's going to be a day of news tomorrow.  I have a early business networking event in the morning, then a rush back to the office for a new patient.  Then a telephone conference followed by another new patient.  It's a good day, but a lot to swallow in one day.  Especially when it starts early.

What Monday Brings

Well I thought about it a lot through the night and I want to keep my present room.  It has more of a feel than my old one.  I liked having the loveseat to relax in, but I want to get a poppasan chair (I think that's how it's spelled) for my room.  Since my Mom never uses her TV in her room actually happy about that she is out with others I think I will bring that home since it is bigger than mine.  I said how I felt to my landlord this morning.  No big deal, but with 15-16 years of my ex freaking every time I changed my mind I get anxious when I have to.

Another new patient called this morning wanting to come in tomorrow.  So hopefully all this energy I'm putting out there is coming full circle.  Also I sold one of these Tempurpedic mattress from the office. I have to admit it's nice thing to just order something for someone.  Make a profit and someone else does most of the work.

All the News

Well one of my roommates is moving out.  Pete is in my old room and my landlord asked if I wanted it back or to stay where I am.  I told him I didn't care.  I like my new room and the old room had some nice advantages.  So I'll see what the future brings. 

I am dusting off my air guitar since my landlord is leaving Tuesday for a trip to PA.  I picked up some connectors to hook up my Discman to my stereo since my CD player is giving my problems.  It's old and needs to be replaced, but is low on my list of things to buy.

Still no word from Eric.  He left me a message last Tuesday saying he forgot to call me the night before.  If I don't hear from him by tomorrow I'll give a call.  I know my ex doesn't like me calling unless it's an emergency, but it's about a week so that qualifies for me.  If Eric is busy and forgets I'm okay with that, but something in the back of my head is saying my ex is f-cking me over and that bothers me.  So we will see how it all plays out.

Saturday is Date Night

I had an emergency patient in the office when L called me.  She said she was finish hanging with her friend and I could come on over when I was free.  I was happy to be able to see her for a couple extra hours. 

L had gotten to see a good friend for Friday and Saturday.  I think talking and I know our relationship must of come up with her friend did something good for her. She was very happy to see me, almost as happy as her dog.  Trevor gets so excited when he sees me drive up.  He can't wait to be petted.  We made plans to be domestic next Saturday and go look for a plasma TV and DVD player for her.  L said she didn't know anything and I'm always happy to help and hang with her.

So we went to Waterman's again.  I knew it was open this time and actually it was opening night which worked out for us since it wasn't packed.  I've been hearing about this place since before I moved down here so I was happy to finally have arrived.  I don't know what it use to look like, but the new place is very nice.  The food was excellent.  I really had to laugh when the Shawn our waiter brought my coke out.  It was a 6 inch glass and 4-5 inches were ice.  There was just this thin line of darkness on the bottom of all the ice.  Refills were free so I asked for not so much ice next time.  He didn't seem to get the joke, but he was pretty straight laced.  Afterwards we went over to HK like usual for some coffee and tea.  This week's band was really good.  Actually the guy on the synthesizer was famous. He does music for public radio across the country.  I never heard of him, but L had and she was so excited.  It was like watching some old footage of a fan at a Beatles concert.

Concert Tickets

Well I set my alarm to get up this morning and try and get tickets for Stevie Nicks.  I'm use to trying to get tickets in NY which is like trying to get a rocket to Mars.  Their are so many variables it's just luck if it gets there.  Well a smaller city and it was all finished under 10 minutes.  I was able to get one section closer to the stage and row T this time.  When I logged on to the ticket site and their already auctioning off prime seats I don't have much confidence that I'll get close.  Anyway unless L ask about the tickets I won't say anything until the time comes. 

Guilty

I was sitting here doing laundry and thinking about L.  Wondering what will have to happen to feel safe that she is happy in the relationship.  That it's not going to end.  Then I caught myself looking to get something from someone else what I need to find in myself.  The fear I feel is my own and I'm the one who has to deal with it.  Reality check is that it a small amount of my day with the thoughts and that it really sparked with the concert question the other day.  L seems very happy and has given me many nice compliments.  With that is if she can go out with the convicted killer I should be okay.  LOL.  Being with her I have learned lose a lot of this fear of loss.  I know there is nothing I can do on her end.  On my end is the constant replay of all the reason I think she does like me and is happy.  It's a new area to learn and grow and as always I HATE growing pains.  I want painless, easy, serene.  These are the descriptions I want.  Atlas I know that is not to be and as my friend has said many a time.  The greatest amount of joy I have gotten is from the greatest amount of pain.  Not that he is a masochist, but growing and maturing especially when is should have been done decades earlier is emotionally painful.

The Defect of L

In talking with L I have realized that she falls into the common women's trap.  Not listening to your instincts.  Women's instincts are highly acute on most situations, but for some reason probably a social one women are taught to ignore what their guts are telling them.  I don't know about her ex, but on two of the men she dated since her divorce I was surprised to hear she kept dating them on what she said about her gut instincts.  It the cultural differences that make me forget that she hasn't had any therapy.  Most people that I know that have such gratitude and love of life have been in therapy for years to acquire it.  For L its just her which is awesome.  However the other parts that go with having the therapy aren't there and it throws me sometimes. 

Moving On Up

I was visiting my Mom this morning and one of the activity directors asked me what kind of doctor I was.  Then she asked if I did health and wellness presentations.  I told her yes and then she asked would I want to talk down at the ocean front next year to a crowd of about 200-250 at some conference.  I was like SURE. 

Dating Diaries

Well L and I finally had a great weather night to get together.  She looked great with her haircut and after a week of vacation she looked re-energized.  We sat on her porch for a while and relaxed.  I think her dog is more excited to see me than she is.  LOL.  I wasn't quite sure if everything was okay between us.  L seemed a little different, but I also realized I had dropped into hypervigalent mode. 

So our first choice for dinner was still closed and hadn't reopened for the season yet.  I was accomodating and L was rough while we tried to think of someplace else to go.  We decided to go back to Chix Bar so we could sit by the water.  What sucked was that a wind had picked up and it made it a little cool.  Dinner was good and I asked L all about Spain. 

I suggested Starbucks for our nightcap place since L had a gift card and she never goes there.  We had to go back to her house to get the card.  So while I had a few minutes to myself I really had to let go of the fear of losing her.  Their is nothing I can do if she decides it and I am only making things worse for myself by not enjoying it.  With that done I enjoyed the rest of the evening and the energy of the night changed. 

We went to the Starbucks that L and her ex built.  She didn't know what to get, but decided on something chocolate.  So she got the mocha with whip cream.  She sat in the big comfy chair and had a sip of her drink and was in love.  LOL.  It was great to see.  We had a fun relaxing time there.  I massaged her feet while she zoned out.  The fly in the ointment came when a guy L had went out with a while ago came in to do business.  She had gotten out of the relationship after she found out that he had killed his wife and the judge on their divorce case.  So she was up tight and tense.  She didn't want to leave and give into her feelings so we hung for a while, but then I pushed to go since she was tense and it was written all over her face. 

With L not working today it was nice to sleep in till about 7.  I can live with that.  The 5 and change is just WAY too early for me. 

I think L eeked out a "me too" when I said I loved her this morning before I left, but I wasn't quite sure.  So I'll have to see next time.

Today

Well I awoke to my room mates alarm going off at some point around 5 am.  I don't know why she didn't get up till 7 without and alarm.  It was hard going back to bed with my gluts sore as hell from fencing and the few bruises on my chest didn't help either.

So I awoke this morning to pouring rain and a tornado warning.  I love VA Beach.  LOL.  Anyway now it's 75 and bright sunshine. 

I got invited to another business networking today and due a reschedule I was able to go.  It was fun and I will attend the 2 others I have been invited to.  However they are A LOT of money and you need to either be bringing new members in or referring to people.  I don't need a second business.  I like the other networking events I have gone to that are more laid back, but helpful.

Anyway I got my 100th new patient today since I opened 3 years ago.  She was a person from one of my networking meetings so now she can be a walking testament to me.  I did send a thank you letter to Ruth a woman I met at a health fair a couple of weeks ago.  We talked about networking and she had helped me connect with all these groups.  I did a bunch when I first opened up, but they either sucked or were full.  However I realized how much she has changed my business life in the last 2 weeks so I am offering her a complimentary treatment for the help as my way of saying thanks.

Not much else going on.  I'm looking forward to seeing L tonight and with such great weather we can go down by the water and eat outside which we love to do.

OMG

It seems that each week in intermediate fencing class we have a different instructor.  I have no problem with it since both weeks now they have been really good.  Rhonda tonight was really rough.  I've had tougher instructors, but she made us work.  I will not be going to yoga tomorrow.  My leg muscles already hurt.  If I do yoga in the morning L can just wheel me around tomorrow night.  I will tell you even with the padding the foils leave a mark.  I don't bruise very easy, but I got a nice one from fencing with my teacher tonight.

My business networking meeting tonight was pretty packed.  It's free and fun so I go.  However I see that they all referred themselves to the group and it's all real estate.  Hey I can get a patient from anywhere, but it's just a flooded marked of these people.  I know so many of them I wouldn't know who to refer to.

No Offense You Women are Weird

I tried to get tickets this morning, but the pre sale tickets were only for nose bleed seats and I wasn't paying the money for row W.  So I'll try Saturday with everyone else. Thinking about L's reaction last night just seems funny in retrospect.  On our second date she found out my last name and I could see her mentally putting the names together like all women do.  Does it work?  Does it sound right?  On our third or fourth date she asked about the back of my head.  She thought I had and accident or maybe her nice way of asking if I was going bald.   I told her it was thinning.  I know I'll be bald someday and have resigned myself to that fate.  She was like we could work with it.  But hey talk about a concert 2 months in the future is a big step.  LOL.  For me I'm not going to stop my life because we may or may not be together.  I've lived most of my life in fear, but now a days f-ck that sh-t!  I could be dead tomorrow and I'm going to enjoy my life.

Blew Her Mind

Stevie Nicks is coming to the area in June.  I never saw her and would like to and I know L REALLY like her.  I was going to get Steely Dan tickets, but since money is tight I figured I would get the Stevie tickets.  Anyway I can get tickets tomorrow before they go on sale Saturday.  I asked L if I should get tickets for us.  She was like, "I don't know?  June is pretty far off."  It was weird to hear her frazzled so I told her I would use my best judgment.  She seemed confused by that, but agreed. 

It left me feeling unsettled.  So when I'm like that I call a friend.  He said it was the first real long range plan and she wasn't ready for it.  That sounded better than all the paranoid crap running around my head.  So I'll get the tickets tomorrow.  I hope to go with L, but if not someone else.

Very Well

After several snoozes I woke up bouncing to some music in my head and feeling very well.  Very well?  Who the hell said that?  Hey I'm not going to knock a gift or a good feeling.  I was hoping to meet up with L for lunch today, but she was busy and we'll have to try another day. 

So after working out today I had a lecture with a bunch of seniors at the recreation center. It went very well and they said I was very personable and nice.  They also said it was the best presentation they had seen.  So it was very nice to just talk to them.  What I have been finding out is that my best asset in business seems to be my personality and that I do listen to people.  So I just need to get out and talk to more people and I'll keep on the networking trail.

Sunday Night Live

I talked to Eric just before I left to meet my friends for Comedy Improv.  He was a having a fun Easter.  He got my stuff Thursday and already tore through it so he was hyped more with the stuff he got on Easter.  I know he is a very good reader, but I was wondering the books I sent him would be a problem or not.  He finished it in 2 hours so I guess not.  I've never been a big toy buyer, but I will always buy books for someone.  I've alway done that with Eric, but over the last few years I haven't known what to get.  At least now I have an idea.

Improv was great last night.  I had a record number of people attend the event which helps.  The more the merrier and their was more of a crowd also.  I can't afford to be a member of the place, but I can help bring more and more people to it.  Anyway they had an Easter egg hunt before hand with all kinds of stuff inside from junk to condoms.  It was pretty funny.  Afterwards I did talk to April to see how she was doing.  I did see what I liked about her, but a month with L I really saw what was lacking.  Ah hindsight.

Don't Quote Me

I have no idea about the story about the Easter Bunny.  I was really surprised when L asked me.  I'm use to being a kid and any reason you get presents is a good one.  So I pretty much just stammered out the good boy and girl reason.

I have to admit having known L my bar has been raised with my mate requisites.  For me that's what its all about.  Working for better.

Anyway I'm just whiling my day away.  I did forget it was Easter Sunday.  Please don't even say it.  So when I went to a few places I was surprised that they were closed.  So I hit Starbucks to relax and write.  Now I'm at my office putting up spring decoration until the summer. It's not much.  Just some butterflies and dragonflies around the doorways.  It feels so naked after all the holiday stuff that has been up for the last few months.  Just another 1 1/2 hours till I need to meet my friends for the comedy show.

Saturday Recap

Well I got to sleep like 12 hours which was great.  I like sleeping in one day a week to recharge my body.  Anyway I was informed that I had missed all the snow by the time I got up.  So when I hit the road L had left me a message about since the weather was so crappy that we should get together earlier and go to the museum.

I was happy to see her earlier and I really wanted to see the new Spanish exhibit at the art museum.  So I grabbed some sandwiches on the way to L's place and we had lunch there which was nice since we hadn't done that before.  Then on the way to the museum boy did the snow come down.  It was pretty comical.  The worse day of the year and it's in the spring.

L was very happy to get a teacher's discount at the mueseum.  The exhibit was really great and I got to learn  more about L.  I was surprised to find out that many of the things I find attractive in L are cultural traits.  The big Spanish love for life was evident in many of the pictures.  I thought Spain was a very pious country, but L informed me it was the opposite and that the US was way more religious than them.  That most everyone was atheist or agnostic there. 

I got to show her the statues I really enjoy and we got to see some very impressive pieces by the local high school kids. 

I was in the mood for sushi so we went to this place by her.  OMG was it good.  They had these cool rolls that were delicious.  We both waddled out of there and stopped by HK around the block from her house for our nightcap of coffee and tea.  The staff is starting to recognize us now.

L was very surprised with the Easter basket although she had no idea what it meant.  I told it was an present from the Easter bunny for all good boys and girls.  She really liked it and I wish I had a picture of her eyes when she picked up the darkest chocolate I could find.  LOL.

Couldn't Stand it Anymore

Well I held out as long as I could, but then I had to blow.  I forgot it is Good Friday and no school which means very slow business.  So I headed over to Michael's to get some decorations since Easter is Sunday and I want to put up spring time decorations for the next 2 months until July.  Well Fourth of July decorations were easy to find.  Spring time stuff was harder to find.  So I went with these fancy butterflies to hang from the lights.  I need to get some more flowers to put around the place, but I couldn't picture it in my mind so it will be a work in progress. 

Mr. Unreliable never called to get together which is something I was prepared for.  After the first time it happened I made sure NEVER to be waiting by the phone.  So I headed over to Starbucks since I haven't been there in a while.  I tell you I should wear slacks more often cause I was getting the looks today.  The funny one was this woman was on a date with this guy I didn't see if they were married, but she kept looking over at me when he wasn't looking.

So I called L early today since I know Friday's she likes to go to bed early and I think my room mates and myself are going out for dinner tonight.  So I didn't want to leave her hanging.  So we will get together tomorrow evening.  Since I have no idea if I will be staying the day with her Sunday I'll give her her basket when we get home after dinner.  I usually forget my toothbrush in the car so that will be my cue to go get it an surprise her.  It will be interesting to see how she reacts.

Biting the Bullet

I hate being bored in the office.  However since I have no marketing plans out there I know it is better to sit in the office to see if anyone walks in.  Someone already did although they wanted the massage therapist across the hall.  I have heard people say they have stopped by and I haven't been here.  I tired of reading, practicing my fencing, and work is caught up. 

I am waiting for my friend to call so we can get together which is something we haven't done in a long while.  The only problem is that he is pretty unreliable, nice guy still. 

Home life is all a flutter with energy as one of my room mates has an attorney visiting today as an assessment to getting custody of her kids.  It's been a long year in her battle.  I think her attorney knows she is desperate and is milking her with this stuff. 

Date Night

It was cold, but very sunny and we were hoping to find a place to see the sunset.  However we decided their would be other sunsets when we couldn't find a place.  So we went over to Rockafellas and had a great dinner.  L is small chested and would like to be bigger.  I'm happy to say she won't augment herself.  However when we are out, boy will she spot the big chested women who are hanging out of their shirts.  We sat at the bar last night while we waited for our table and as soon as we sat down she was like look at the rack on the girl over there.  LMAO!  I'm the guy I don't notice any of this stuff and my gf notices and announces it to the world.  Can't take her anywhere.

Afterwards we stopped by the Jewish Mother which is a local hot spot for tea and coffee.  I didn't feel old there, but it was FULL of kids and their pretty scruffy looking now a days.  L was a little annoyed that I paid the tab since it was her night.  I just did it out of habit so she made sure I know she owes me. 

I think I am rubbing off on L.  I know I am REALLY relaxed when I am with her, but she is always the one to fall asleep first.  All the time I've been with her L always gets up before her alarm and then wakes me up.  This morning her alarm went off and she was sluggish getting out of bed.  Now I can call her lazy bones. 

Do I Have a Girlfriend?

I was watching Seinfeld last night and Jerry was asking George these questions to see if he had a girlfriend. 

Daily phone calls? no

Any of her items at my place (Tampex)? no actually she's never been there

Standing Saturday date? I'm not quite sure.  I still ask her out since I don't want to take anything for granted

So it left me wondering since I still don't refer to L as my girlfriend.  Or is it lady friend when you get to 40?

Wow That was Fast

Boy does the day go by fast when I have something to do.  I think I will keep going to the yoga class on Thursday.  It's a good stretch after all the footwork with fencing and boy do my flat feet hurt from all that fast stepping. 

My patient rescheduled to later in the day today which worked out great since I got to go to Speed Networking.  LOL.  I know it sounds like speed dating.  However for networking purposes it works.  You only need 2 minutes to say everything and you meet a bunch of people.  I thought it was going to be a more tooth and nail, but it was actually fun.  So I will go back next month.  Now if all the people will give me a call like they said I'll be very happy.

Every month I try to do something fun in the office.  I use to try to push referring a friend, but that didn't work.  So now I just try to make the experience as fun as possible.  Last month was the free scratching lottery tickets.  This month is guessing how many eggs are in the jar for a $20 gift certificate for the movies.  My patients are liking it.  Now I just need to thing of something for July and August.

Wednesday Night

Well my business networking thing was fun.  It was nice to talk to adults and I don't know why I say that since I don't really talk to many kids.  However they were all at least my age or older, with kids ranging up to their twenties, and their all business owners.  So it was nice just to chew the fat and hopefully someone will come in.  If I am free each week I'll be happy to go.

Fencing tonight was a real workout.  My new teacher really gave us a workout with footwork and tightened up all our swordwork.  I got to fence again tonight which was fun especially since I got to do it with another adult.  We "grown ups" seem to have a killer instinct that the younger ones just don't have.  The only thing I got pissed at was I scratched my glasses taking my mask off.  So I think I will fight without them since it is close up.

L usually ask me what do I want her to wear and I am usually whatever makes you happy.  If pressed I'll say a dress.  So this week I asked her and she told me no blue jeans or blue at all.  LOL.  It is my favorite stuff , but I'm flexable.

It's Wednesday the 4th!

                                                      

It's the 4th and that means I've known L a month now.  Woohoo!  Boy time goes fast.  I can feel us easing into a more relaxed state.  I hear the happiness in L's voice when I call and it's nice.  Talking way to fast is still a problem when I am with her, but that is a global problem. 

Talking to my business neighbor this morning about K moving out.  She confirmed that K just REALLY hates men.  So that explained a lot for me why we never got along.  I don't get along with everyone, but hostility never really comes up.

My Mom was doing better today and knew who I was.  She seems more dozy than usual and I don't know if it is from the medicine or not.  Part of me just doesn't care.  I have so much going on I can't parent my Mom.  When I had the extra time it was okay, but now I just don't have it in me. 

Fear still grips me with the business and I will see how it is going in a month to see what I will do.  I'm trying to get more faith on the subject with doing my part and then having the faith it will work out.  We'll see.

The "L" Word

I've gotten a lot of letter about L's response to my "I love you."  Well like I've stated I didn't say it to get a response so that always makes it easier for me.  L responded well to me saying it 3 times now.  She hasn't reciprocated the words yet, but that is okay with me.  I know she got really hurt in her last relationship and will take her time in this one.  I think she was looking for me to say it last night when we got off of the phone.  I didn't say it I guess cause she wanted me to.  That may sound weird, but my want to say it was low and that is why I say it for me.  Doing it for anyone else always makes it feel like it's coming from the wrong place.

Life in Balance

Well I survived my day and made it home.  I finally got L's chocolate back to the house.  It's been so hot I knew it would melt in the car so I have been storing it in the office which means I keep forgetting it.  So I finally put it out in the open today so that I could Pony Express it home.  The cellophane wrapping on an Easter basket looks a hell of lot easier in the store than it does in my bedroom.  Hey I did my best.  I know L is going to be surprised since I know she is an atheist and Easter isn't showing up on her radar.  I'm not quite sure if any holiday shows up on her radar.  I was an atheist for 18 years, but I still celebrated the holidays mostly since they have no religious condemnation to me.  Easter is all about the Easter bunny to me.  Yes I'm only 5 years old. 

Anyway it was a rough stressful day so I am relaxing with music, checking out new blogs (on the side bar), and thinking of what L said about me and sleeping.  L enjoys sleeping and watching me sleep very much.  I don't make any noise, I don't hog the bed, and I don't really move.  She especially likes the way I really breath deep while I'm sleeping.  I can't say much about her.  Not that their are any problems, but usually when I am with her I am out like a light.  Usually I comb her hair at night and she is out before me.  I know this cause I can feel her little jerks of an arm or leg that tell me she is out.  However it is not long after that I am out and one thing that is so true is when I am with L I am DEAD to the world. 

Anyhow I'll talk to her later to set up something for Thursday.  Bummed the weather is cooling off that day so all the outdoor places will be bad choices and I'm not quite sure what to pick.  Hopefully L knows someplace.

Not a Happy Camper

POA is a freakin' curse.  I'm tired of being in charge of all my Mom's stuff.  I have to admit that I am happy that my brother put his name on my Mom's bank account.  Since I am only a beneficiary so I really can't do squat with that.

It is really a pain that my Mom's place was a mobile home.  It was treated as a car and there really is no paperwork trail and everyone wants one.  What a freaking pain. 

The last pain in the ass thing of the day is mine.  I called an insurance company to find out why they weren't paying and I was informed that they only pay for an adjustment and one procedure a day.  Okay that really sucks.  So my next question was that I was approved for 8 procedures so why was I being told I was out.  They answered even though I wasn't paid for all the procedures I billed the counted towards what I was approved for.  WTF!  Just give it to me both ways and sideways.  Jeez!

Hey what time is it?  I think its time to go postal.

Under Pressure

When I picked up my Mom's mail today it was and anxiety provoking situation.  I just paid 11k and they want another 7k.  I guess the last one bill was late in getting to me.  I don't know I can't keep track of all this crap.  And they want it in 7 days.  I figure I sent in all the Medicaid info so that should be coming soon.  Hey letter number 2 from Medicaid.  They want more information.  Some stuff I don't even know what it is.  I'll have to call later to find out.  Anyway all this feels like pressure to perform and I just want to hide from it.  I truly hate dealing with this crap.  I thought it was all winding down and it seems to just spin back up.  Uggghhh!!!

Back in the Saddle Again

Well I called today before I went to visit my Mom and they said the infection was gone.  So I head on over to see her.  Not seeing her for 2 weeks did some damage.  I knew she recognized me as someone familiar, but I don't think she knew who I was.  We'll see over the coming days how it goes.

Trying not to panic as the office stays slow.  Still marketing it every day and praying for the faith that things will work out when I've done my part.  However it is hard as more money goes out then comes in.

I asked Eric last night what he wanted me to do.  Mail his Easter presents or wait till I saw him at the end of the month.  He wanted them mailed so I will take care of that today.

Monday in the Life

Well I finally got back to the gym today after a 12 day hiatus with sick recovery.  It felt good to be back in my old groove.  I also found out that goober who hit me also knocked my license light out of it's socket.  So that was another little thing I had to fix.  I was happy my friend Rosi had an opening today to adjust my neck back into place.  As with any trauma my immune system was depressed and I feel the tell tale signs of my cold trying to inch its way back.

She was able to recommend Tempur-pedic to me as a way of making some extra money without an investment.  Many patients ask me about what mattress they should get.  So I called today to look at their line of mattresses and if it looks good I can prescribe them for my patients.  They get a great mattress and I get some money cash.  Something I am starting to worry about since this week and last week look slow.  I've done a lot of marketing and I am keeping up with it.  My friends are amazed at how much I do compared to them, but they have been situated in their offices for years and mine is new and it take umph to get that ball rolling.

I was surprised that the naturopath across the hall from me moved out.  No real problems since we never got along.  I truly have to wonder if a final dig of hers was taking my sign off the directory.  Everyone else's is still there, but mine is gone.  I don't put it past her.

Jeez

I tell you when I am with L I think every tension I've had since I was born relaxes.  The day after I am just a pile of goo.  All I can remember is one of Samantha's cousins from Bewitched with his Flurpity Flurp ad.  That's how I feel.  I have to admit it lets me enjoy life more.  Not quite sure what it lets me accomplish, but hey its Sunday.

Another slow week on the books coming up.  I have a few marketing items to finish up this week so there is a lot of hope that something will grow from all these seeds I planted out there.  I would really hate to have to get a part time job again.  Especially going into the summer when I will have Eric.

Bizarre is that I got a call from my Ex last night.  The phone was off so it went on my machine.  Nothing was said so I don't know it it accidentally called or what.  If I don't hear anything from the attorney by weeks end I'll see what is going on with the papers he sent her.

Staurday Night is Date Night

Well L gave me a call earlier in the evening to get together.  I was just hanging out so we got together before our scheduled time.  I love it when she says tell me about yourself.  It's great that she really wants to know and that their is no pressure.  It would be easier if she had a topic, but I just wander around my brain and find something.  We did that both talking about ourselves to till I was starving.  I had choose a Japanese steak house.  It was crowded and we got stuck with a red neck family with kids.  L was a little apprehensive since she teaches kids all week long she usually likes to avoid them on the weekend.  However she was okay and the kids were great.  The grown ups were another matter.  Too many drinks and they were arguing with each other, not talking to each other, and walking out.  It added to the show.  L had never seen a hibachi show she really enjoyed it.  I always love the egg tossing, the shrimp toss if fun, and I had never seen the volcano before which was really cool.  The food was awesome.  Afterwards we went to HK a place by L's for coffee and tea.  We got to hear a local band while we were there.  One thing that happens when I am with L is that I completely relax.  I joke that its a vacation from life to be with her.  It worked against me in HK.  Since it made me tired and with all the music and people going on.  I started to phase out (not be there emotionally) which is something I haven't done in years and I started getting paranoid that L wanted to be with someone else.  It was amazing how fast bad habits come flying back in my face when I don't do anything about it.  It didn't take me long to realize what was happening and to get myself back on the right track. 

L let me sleep in this morning and when she woke me I wasn't quite sure if she had walked the dog or not.  She said no.  I had no idea what time it was and I wasn't quite sure if I was going with her or she was doing her normal walk with her friend.  She was still doing it with her friend which was no problem with me.  Although I was a little confused the whole weekend when we spend the whole weekend last week together and not this one. It wasn't talked about either time, but L had already planned it in her head.  I'll haveto get an itinerary before the weekend starts next time.