Words of Wisdom

"Don't let anyone make a monkey out of you."  ~ My Dad

I was down at the Neptune Festival at the ocean front today.  It's our way of celebrating that the tourist are gone.  It's a lot of fun with art and crafts for sale.  Sand sculpting competitions, music, and plenty more.  I go every year and usually pick up something.  This year I picked up a sculpted blue frog.  It really is a fancy fan chain, but I wanted it for my car under my mirror.  My friend had made me a sculpy figure years ago, but to many curios people left him amputated.  So I was finally able to find a replacement.

Anyway I was there today and I thought I saw someone I know from MySpace.  She's and attractive witty woman.  I don't ask her out because she smokes occasionally and that is one of my boundaries.  Anyway I was going to say hello when I saw that she had 2 dogs and I thought S only had one.  So my stopped and veered away.  The woman I saw was attractive and would have been happy to talk to her also.  But I didn't.  When I thought of it down the boardwalk the above words of my Dad just came to my mind.  I couldn't believe it.  It was something my Dad had said many times in my life.  It was his words of wisdom to me, but I always brushed it off.  Come to find out that it had burrowed deep into my psyche.  This happens a lot in new situations as well as with woman.  Not to be foolish I will avoid the a situation which I don't like.  However reflexively I still do it.  Well awareness is the first step so we shall see.

Knock me Over with a Feather

Got a letter from my ex today.  Always a gut tightening event.  I was pleasantly surprised that it was a nice letter.  I guess all my pushing that it is all about our son has worked.  Nah just a good day for her.  My friend even joked when we were getting back together again.  Hell no!  LMAO!

It said Eric was doing well in school naturally, but was surprised at how much work their was to be done.  I guess play time in school is over.  LOL.  Speech, counseling, soccer, and religion classes are doing well.  So it was nice to hear in a pleasant way.  Not holding my breath for another one.

Sh*t

Got my letter from the City clerks office today.  I thought it would say come down and make your appointment for your divorce.  WRONG!  It was a rejection letter.  I had made mistakes with forms.  Part of their letter was get an attorney the other was where to go for information.  Frustrated since getting my ex to sign ANYTHING is a colossal job.  Part of me wants to give up and get an attorney to finish it up, but I have done so much and like my friend said your in the home stretch.  So I will investigate what I need to correct then decide if I can do this by myself or not. 

Wow only one person

After almost 40 years I still wait for the confusion when I say I have an older brother named Mike.  I remember my ex saying she freaked when she heard me say that on our first date cause then she though she didn't know my name.  LOL.  I am surprised only one person said anything about it.

My 2 older brothers have a different father than I and the joke in the family is that if my Mom only knew 2 names and if she had another son she would name him Frank.  I was named in the Italian fashion after my grandfather.  Just another point of insanity of my youth.  When you grow up that way you're just use to it.

If you have no idea what I am talking about it was something I mentioned in my other journal.

Time Out

Well it is taking me a while to wind back up after fully relaxing yesterday.  One thing I did notice yesterday is that I need to start my count from when I throw the towel in with a person.  Not our last conversation.  I've probably talked about this before, but since I didn't learn here I am again.  I was counting from Wednesday with Colleen, but since I made the cut off date Friday that is when I have to start my count.  When I start to date someone I set up a space for them somewhere inside of me and when it doesn't work out I have to take time to break it back down again.  Maybe it's mourning and going through the full range of emotions that I never use to do.  However I do know that without this time I start to NEED to have this place filled instead of a healthier want.  I caught myself getting all wound up last night with wanting to find someone.  It's a place I don't need to go since it quickly destroys my happiness.

Brutal Sundays

Sunday is my day in which I don't work, go to the gym, or see my Mom.  It's a day of pure indulgence and relaxation.  Let me tell you 4 hours after I get up I'm ready to drop.  LOL.  It was too windy to go to the beach today even though it was nice and hot, but I didn't want to get sand blasted.

So I continued writing over at Starbucks and did some shopping through the surrounding shopping centers.  There is a Petsmart near Starbucks that I decided to go in and browse.  The place had a nice smell.  If you have or had pets you know what I mean.  Food, litter, etc. all combine to make a nice aroma for the senses.  I miss having a pet. 

I got to see one woman's face in Michaels with the 'oh no I'm away from the herd' look.  We almost ran into each other.  She was attractive, but looked so nervous that I figured it wasn't worth it. LOL.

Relaxing

As usual my friend Paul and I talk every day as we have for the last 5 years except for a handful of days.  I didn't have much to report today.  Colleen never re-contacted me so I wrote that off.   I was happy for the two dates and learned more about what I want and don't want.

The rest was that I'm happy. I'm happy with my career as well as my part time job.  My friends which you are all a part of, my home, etc.  The only thing I need a boost in is money.  Although if I had enough to cover everything I don't know if I could handle all that happiness.   I may joke about that, but I always look at that just to make sure I am not sabotaging myself from success. 

I finally finished my short story today and in a few days I will re-edit it.  When I started it last week I was just doing it to have an outlet for some extra creativity, but then I figured I would try to get it published.  Funny though most fantasy companies don't want short stories only books.  It's funny how times change.  Years ago they would only take short stories.  Oh well.  Guess I will have to keep cranking stuff out and see how it goes.  Not a super desire to be published, but it would be a nice dream come true.

Contentment

"Life am good." ~ Bizarro

I got an email from a woman I know last night.  She had asked me out last week, but I had turned her down since I would rather stay friends with her than anything else.  Anyway she is vacationing in California and she send some great pics of the area.  It was nice to say wow, but not feel like I was missing out.  That I was very happy and content in my life and what I have.

A few friends asked this morning if I was being too fast with Colleen.  If she contacts me I would love to go out again.  However I have put enough energy in and want to see some return.  I have spent too much of my life putting energy into the relationship (money) pit with friends and closer relationships.  I don't do that anymore.

I think my brother and family are having a harder time with our Mom.  They keep asking me how I am holding up.  Dealing with our Mom is a breeze for me.  I know my limitation and have set my boundaries with her.  I do my labors of love and that is it.  I have other things in life that are more pressing for me.

Thursday Decision

Well Colleen has both my number and email and I still haven't heard back from her.  I was thinking of making one more call tonight, but I left a message last night.  I don't like chasing phantoms.  If she calls great if not no big deal.  Each day is less of a problem. 

In a way it is sad I would of been happy to be friends.  It's funny looking back over the last few months 3 out of four women I went out with I am still friends with.  Christine and I still email each other just about everyday.  If Colleen is not able to do that I am better off.

I think I need to retire my leather jacket.  I really hate to.  I've had it for about 7-8 years now.  It's really broken in and comfy, but one to many rips I think have done it in.  I picked up a jacket on sale today to replace it.  Services will be held soon. 

I Love My Patients

LOL.  My patients are great.  There always trying to give me suggestions on how to get better.  My new one gave me some good suggestions.  The funny part he said he told his wife who went to a light touch chiropractor that she didn't like.  He's was like no, no this guy will really push on you.  LOL.

Wednesday Night

Let a message on Colleen's machine telling I enjoyed last night and asking how her day was with her new student.  No return call tonight so I'll see how it goes.  Night all.

Housecalls

Made a house call today.  Haven't done one in about a year.  LOL.  I started to leave without any of my stuff.  Finally by the third try I had everything.  They were happy to see me as I was them.  The wife has really gone down hill since she stopped coming due to getting down their stairs.  That she was able to do it I was impressed.  It was nice to get the commendation that she knows I'm in a business to make money, but she knows that is not my first concern with my patients.  Which is true, but it was nice to have someone notice.

Grateful to have given up my agonizing over where Colleen is on us.  I'll find out later.

Wednesday Musings

I've avoided the pit falls of looking at fault in myself for anything last night.  I know I focused too much on trying to read Colleen which causes me to react rather than act which is a problem for me.  The kiss and hug from last night reminds me of when I was going out with my ex and I gave the quick kiss one night before I left.  It was a joke for a long while on how fast I disappeared afterwards.  I had asked if she wanted me to stay and she was like NO.  I emailed Colleen last night telling I had a good time and how much she makes me laugh.  She responded that she had a fun time too.  So my original plan stays of not trying to read her mind.  However this is a lot like dating twenty years ago.  LOL. 

For everyone I did ask last night if she wanted me to go with her and I would take off work to go, but she declined.  I am a physical guy very bug into PDA's so that is how I grade a date.  When it is not their I am lost even though everything else seems to be going well.  Also no she does not know I have a public journal.  I would never get really intimate hear about going ons in my relationship this journal is for me to keep my mind empty.  Since I know the mind is a terrible thing.  LOL.  Especially when everything is kept in.

Post Date Report

Well the date is over and all I can say is the I have no fucking clue.  LOL.  So I guess that can't be a good sign.  I've been thinking it over for the past 30 minutes.  We again laughed hysterical with our conversation.  Dinner and the movie were great.  I touched Colleen through out the night during laughter or consolment.  She never touched back, nor did she pull away when I touched her.  Her body language went from open to close the whole night.  I was going to hold her hand after the movie, but she put her sweater in that hand.  When we got back to her place she wanted to talk a little more in the car.  She had hinted last night that she may need a date for a wedding Saturday, but tonight she said since she didn't know anyone she would just go with her room mates.  I walked to her door.  She gave me a quick hug and kiss on the cheek.  Then told me to have a great day tomorrow.  I said we should do it again, but it wasn't answered.  So we said we would talk tomorrow. 

Overall I say she wasn't interested.  I never got a strong feeling besides the fun we had.  On my own I know I was trying to read her to find out where she was that I didn't tell how great she looked or that her perfume smelled great.  So I am sad tonight since I had a good time.  The only bad thing for me was that I wasn't quite sure where Colleen stood.  I know myself when I am unsure I react instead of act which is a defect of mine.  However I never want to over step myself.  So I am confused.  Not quite sure how to proceed.  Actually I do.  I will tell her tomorrow how much I enjoyed myself and try to go out again.  I leave it in her court to tell me she doesn't which will tell me where she is at also if she can tell me how she really feels.

Comments welcome.

A Heartfelt Thanks

I would like to thank everyone for their advice.  I guess it is back to the way it was when I first dated my ex which is nice and slow.  Most of the women I have dated over the last year have been faster and I had gotten use to it.  However my friend Peggy didn't give me the nickname One Step Over the Line Mike.  So I am always looking for the balance.

Since I am picking Colleen up I cleaned the car out and got it washed.  Picked up a flower and I have no idea what the name is.  I was going to go with a tulip, but they were out.  The florist wanted to sell me a rose, but even with another color I thought it was a little to soon.  Also where do you go after a rose?

Anyway much more relaxed with your suggestions although on the drive over there who knows?  Although I know even on the phone is a fun time so I don't really have any worries. 

Post date report to follow.

Womanly Advice Needed

Sitting here thinking about my date with Colleen tomorrow and a few questions have come to mind.  So maybe you my loyal fans have some answers.  We laughed our asses off over Starbucks last week.  However she wasn't physical.  So a couple of questions since this is different territory than I am use to.

1)  Shake or kiss on the picking her up?

2)  What are the rules on being physical (hand holding, etc.) on a second date when there was none on the first?

 

Thanks in advance.

Monday Musings

Perfectionism still plagues me.  I admit that I am more happier in my skin than I have ever been, but new situations and people spark it in me.  I have to act a certain way or be a certain way to be loved and accepted.  I am more aware of it, but calming down from it when it hits is still rough.  If I either have no time to think or more than enough time to think I can work my way through it.  A work still in progress.

New know what seeds will sprout.  When I first moved in to this office an year ago I went around to all the offices and introduced myself and dropped off some info.  LOL.  Today I got a new patient from it. Always strange how things work out.

Went down to the courthouse to schedule my divorce hearing today.  However one hand doesn't know what the other hand is doing.  I have to wait to get a letter saying come down and schedule since at that time the court secretary will have it in her system.  Any day now.

Doing the Happy Dance

                                                              

Colleen called me tonight apologizing for not calling me before she left to see her son.  She's such a high energy person I love it.  LOL.  It was rough with our schedules to put something together.  So we decided to go out tomorrow and pass on the ferry ride, although we could go after the movie and dinner.  We'll see.  I'm not a big movie date fan early on, but the ambiance of the theatre is great.  Also that area of the city is nice to walk at night. 

                                                       

Lazy Day Sunday

Well I have come to a good place with Colleen which is not caring that much.  I'm not saying that I wouldn't really want to go out with her.  I have just let go to the appropriate amount that a 45 minute coffee date should be.   One step over the line Mike strikes again.  Hopefully I will hear from her tomorrow.  If not I will call her later in the week for the weekend.

It was finally sunny here, but I still was in the writing mood so I headed over to Starbucks to write some more.  I was able to get an outlet seat so I was able to stay for a few hours.  When I had my fill of it I headed down to the beach.  It was nice to sit and walk on the boardwalk and relax.  The results OMG I am ready to drop after only being awake for 8 hours.  Oh well.

Spreading the Word

The Awards Journal is up.  Go there or be unpopular. ;)

Saturday Story

Okay in less than 2 months I have gotten 2 flats on the same back wheel.  The really sucky thing is that both were through the side wall which means a new tire.  Grumble ... grumble ... grumble.

I was suppose to get together with my friend Anna today, but she was still wiped from her trip into the mountains.  So feeling creative the last few days I plopped myself down in Starbucks with my laptop and started writing.  Couldn't stay there to long since all the chairs near outlets were taken up.

Getting a little tired of all this rain.  They keep saying no more rain and looking out the window right now it is a wall of water.  Hopefully it will dry up soon.

No response back from Colleen last night.  I know she left this morning to go see her son.  So hopefully I will hear from her when I get back.  Trying not to sound like a pest on finding a day when we both are free.  I know unconsciously I am striving for that comfortable place and I will push on the relationship.  Working on reigning myself in since I know unhealthy behavior can destroy the healthiest of relationships.

Not to Much to Report

Well I got next Tuesday off from valet so I will call Colleen tonight to see if she is still free to go out.  I am a person that hates the unknown and I know that is why I like the relationship part of the relationship.  While the initial romance part is fun there is just so much unknown.  An uncertainty can make me anxious.  However like usual this is a challenge area for me to grow in.  I've had a lot of first dates over the last year, but a lot fewer second.  So I mentally battle planning versus going with the flow. 

LOL. It's Funny

Since I have gone out with Colleen 3 women I just casually know wanted to know if I was single to go out.  I told them I was seeing someone already.  Two I am happy to keep it what it is which is barely nothing.  The other I wouldn't mind being better friends with, but nothing beyond that.  Talking to one of my friends today about it and I get the push to go out with more than woman at a time.  That's something I have never done.  Not to say that Colleen and I are dating, but if I had a choice if I wanted us to work out to a relationship I would choose it.  I understand the belief that when you have different fires going that it decreases the anxiety levels due to you just don't have all your money riding on one person.  I have to admit I am a focuser.  That's why I like having one child.  I can focus.  Spread yourself around no one really gets anything.  Also knowing my luck I would find 2 people I really liked.  Anyway it is funny that as soon as you find someone everyone else comes out of the wood work.

Thursday

Well I got treated by my friend yesterday and got a massage today and most of aches are gone from my tumble Tuesday night.

Trying to have the faith that things will work out for the best no matter what that is with Collen and I.  She is visiting her son this weekend and most of next week I am valeting on the nights that she is free.  Ah the old anxieties are there, but I have to remember what she is saying and not the fear in my mind.  She is okay with it and we'll get together the following weekend.  Most likely I will take off next Friday from valet to take her out. 

Next week valet is biting into my marketing time for the office and I hate it when it does that.  Although the extra money helps cover a lot of bills so I try not to complain too much.

Wish There Was a Camera

It might be like 16 years since I didn martial arts, but the stuff is still in there.  At valet tonight I fell down about 5 stone steps running for a car.  Instead of falling on my face I tucked and rolled.  Came right up and opened the door for the people.  I don't even think they noticed.  Oh well.  My shoulder is bruised from rolling on it and loss some flesh on my hand.  Guess I am not as young as I use to be. 

Tuesday Tales

Well I am still enjoying my good time with Colleen last night.  LOL.  Since it is over I can now overthink.  >:)  My only alarms that came up last night that both Colleen and my ex are anal Irish Catholic school girls.  Not much after that, but it stood out to me after I had a talk with my friend about him recreating his relationship with his ex with his now girlfriend. 

Okay I always hear how buying jeans for women is always a problematic adventure.  Well I ventured into that adventure today.  I had stopped to do some shopping and I figured I should pick up a new pair of jeans so I have them to go out with Colleen.  Well I tried a pair on.  LMAO!  The size was WAY off.  I guess working out has changed me from the slender guy I have always been.  Also they seem to have changed all the names of the types of jeans.  It became too much of a pain to do today.  I guess I will have to schedule some time for it instead of doing it on the fly.

Left Colleen a message this morning telling her how much I enjoyed last night.  I'll give her a call later tonight to run a few different date options past her.

Post Date Report

Well I know you are all waiting to hear how my date went tonight.  Well I have to admit Colleen really held it to the 45 minute rule for a first date.  It was a great time.  I think we laughed about 90% of the time.  I have no clue if we were to loud or not.  I called my friend afterwards to tell him how it went and he was like, "Mike you sound like a teenager".  LOL.  He asked me to describe her and I said she is a female me.  First person that I met that talked faster than I do which is saying something. 

Grateful for all the women I have gone out with over the last year since it prepared me very well for tonight.  Colleen's busy for the rest of the week and she is seeing her son this weekend so we won't be able to see each other till next week.  That is something good for me since I am usually pushing a head quickly so now I can take it slow and easy.  So I'll call her tomorrow to talk some.  Depending on when we can get together again will depend on what I'll choose to take her.  I'm thinking it will probably be during the week so I am thinking about the ferry over to Portsmouth and a stroll over to the Commodore theater.  It's an old movie theater where you can have dinner also. 

As you can tell I am very happy.

Sunday ~ It's all about me

I am making Sunday my day.  It has been for a while, but now just making it mores so.  Since I don’t work and I make it a point to be the day I don’t see my Mom.  It is all mine to do as I please. 

 

So I finished cleaning out the storage unit today and straightened all the stuff in the office.  I was surprised almost all the stuff I put out for people disappeared so I am happy that isn’t being wasted.

 

The rest of the day I helped a friend put together his home office furniture.  It took almost 5 hours.  It was a lot of stuff, but I had a lot of fun.  I enjoy putting stuff together jut like I look forward to Christmas morning and putting all the toys together.  I love working with my hands.

 

So I went to Applebee’s tonight for dinner.  I was in the mood for their <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Bourbon Street steak.  Like last week it was nice to treat myself after a hard week.  One of those things I think I deserve.  An added bonus tonight was that most of the wait staff flirted with me while I was there all around half my age, but still enjoyable.

Saturday Afternoon

Well I got to talk to Colleen for a while on the phone and it was great.  We hit it off real well and had a lot in common.  We had to reschedule our date to Monday evening which will work.  I have to admit I haven't been this excited to meet someone in a long time.  There's just something about her that I really like.  So I have between now and Monday night to cool my jets.

Okay today's the day I finish cleaning out all the crap from my storage unit.  I've done a lot already during the week, but the boxes left are the ones that have been sitting there for 2 years and need to be gone through to see what is no longer needed.

Sentimental Value

Monica's comment on me keeping stuff got me thinking.  When I was young we moved a lot.  I probably moved more than military brats and it seemed to get worse as I got older.  I went to 3 different schools in 9th grade and 2 in 10th. Anyway always moving around and having friends and objects constantly ripped away from you gave me very little sense of sentimental value.  It was a inside joke with my friends that you were talking to the wrong person about that topic.  I grew to be like a coyote who could chew off his arm to move on.  When I met my ex wife it was my first love and something very new and powerful.  I kept everything.  From cards, to ticket stubs, etc.  After 15 years of knowing each other I had aquired a lot of stuff.  2 years ago I couldn't toss it out it had value to me.  A strange concept.  My son's stuff has taken over that spot.  I have folders of papers that he has done some kind of art work on.  Who knew that I would learn to care and have feelings about sentimental things

Friday

Catching myself getting caught up in my friend Paul's life.  So I had to reel myself back in before I spoke to him this morning.  Age old habit that flares up especially when something is happening in my life that I don't want to look at.

I need to talk to my landlord about my cable still not working.  It isn't like I don't see him and we don' talk.  In some ways I guess in the back of my mind I see him like my Dad with that cool exterior.  Always had a problem talking to him so I am carrying it over to this relationship which is a bad thing.

Looking forward to having Starbucks with Colleen Sunday.  I'll give her a call later on to finalize or plans.

What I Hate

You know I really hate when I walk into a place that is expecting you and they are like "who are you?"  Never a good sign.  Anyway I got booted from the scheduled open houses since they changed the format to individual class rooms.  So I will get together with the PTA president about doing the presentation at one of their meetings.  I did remember how to help myself with talking to a large crowd.  Don't wear my glasses.  Makes everyone a little fuzzy since when I am talking if I zoom in on one person I am dead.

Tired Thursday

I'm fighting something.  Every afternoon I am ready to drop.  So I will practice one more time for my presentation tonight and grab some rest on my table.  The presentation tonight is the smallest being only 80 people next week is the 200+ people.  At least it is short so it is easy for me to own the presentation to lower any anxiety. 

Trying to plan a date with the girl Colleen for Sunday.  She is the one who initiated this one so that helps with the thoughts I was dealing with the other day.  I am really hoping there is no rain Saturday since I want to finish moving all my stuff out of the storage unit then. 

Okay I am passing out.  TTYL.

Always Tricky

One of my patients contacted me asking me my opinion on their daughter who went to another chiropractor and what I thought of his prescribed treatment.  Always tricky situation unless the doc is a complete boob.  However she trust my judgment so I am honest with what I think and what I would do and let them make their own decision.

"I'd never belong to a club that would have me as a member." ~ Groucho Marx

This quote came to my mind yesterday as I walked through the mall.  Two separate women had seemed interested in me, but I wasn't in them.  This came back to my mind.  My therapist and I had talked about this when I use to go, but why I can't remember.  Anyway there were woman that I liked that didn't like me.  So I had to look at it.  Had I fallen into that situation that I was only going for the unattainable?  Looking over the past year I didn't think so.  I had gone out with a few women who had started the process.  However I do know I can get into that man on a mission thinking and not see who is interested in me.  Something I am still working on. 

Soggy Tuesday

I didn't even realize I didn't post yesterday.  Well I started unloading my storage unit yesterday. I happened to be at the office when a new patient called so I had them come in.  Anyway I knocked off half of the unit yesterday.  A lot of stuff I haven't used in 2 years so I doubt if I really need it anymore.  I was going to do some today, but the skies opened up and I didn't feel like getting soaked.  I have to admit 2 years does something.  I tossed all ex's cards and letters to me.  I remember when I gave her her stuff.  She was I don't want it.  I told her do what she wanted with it, but it was hers.  For me the few decent memories I can keep in my mind, but the stuff no longer holds anything for me.

Really funny today at Subways.  The cashier who I guess liked me until she saw I had Eric as one of "those".  LOL.  Today dealing with I felt like saying who killed you cat?  Oh well. 

I am happy to see my progress with dating.  I've dated more in the last year than I have in my whole lifetime.  I started dating last year as a way to keep working on myself since I had hit a plateau with just being by myself.  So I'll just keep fine tuning it as I go along.

Date Recap

Well I remember my first impression of Christine when we talked on the phone a few weeks ago.  The chemistry just wasn't there and it wasn't there today.  She's a nice person, but you really appreciate the chemistry you get with people when it isn't there.  I've had worse no chemistry dates.  So our hike really got panned due to all the rain from Ernesto which closed a lot of the trails.  However I didn't over think it and was relaxed during it so a step in the right direction for me.

Well now off to find a book for myself and a nice dinner out.  I don't know where yet, but I want to treat myself.

Parties and Sundays

Well as Hoochie Momma Partues go it wasn't that bad.  I think it was the assistance of about 20 city police officers that did the trick.  We had some help valeting and they dealt with this crowd a lot so we upped our fee to $20 a car.  Jeez people just forked it over.  I had to work a few people to get it out of them.  I ended up managing while the other guys ran cars.  There was just so many people it was crazy.  Their must have been at least 600 people walking back and forth between clubs.  When everyone was leaving I was surrounded by so many people I couldn't see the outside world anymore.  It was funny to see about 10 cops walk in a line across the street and just get everyone to disperse which is always a good thing.  They start hanging around with a few drinks and that many people fights always start and this crowd is armed.  I'm getting money from people and their keys and it's like people I don't care where your gun or drugs are.  I'm not giving you a discount if you show me your breast.  Give me the money or move!

So I am getting ready to meet Christine.  We are having hiking date on a really great trail I've done before.  It's a little weird since we have talked almost daily for 1 1/2 months now and we haven't met yet.  Outside my normal rules.  Well I let you know how it goes later.

Saturday Musings

One thing that I have been talking about with friends this week is that I am still perplexed what to do with my feelings when a woman is interested in me.  I'm okay the other way around.  I think it still lies in my perfectionism defect.  That I have to act or be a certain way because if she really knew me she wouldn't like me.  An old tape, but still a powerful one. 

I don't want to work today.  Usually we are closed for Labor Day weekend, but not this year and they keep booking more parties.  We already had a wedding and another party tonight with regular reservations.  Now they have added the dreaded hoochie momma party.  I already have to be there 2 hours early now to be there till 3 am with rude people.  This sucks.  Also now they want to do a party tomorrow.  I don't think so.  Christine and I have finally gotten a day off together and we want to go on a date.  So NOTHING is getting in the way.  I might be tired for tomorrows hike, but I will be there.  It will just be weird to where jeans on a first date, but I would feel weird to dress up to go hiking.

Awards Time

Well its Awards time again.  Never been around for it, but I have seen it on a lot of journals.  Here is the link.  Go find out about it if your new and vote on whether this ancient tradition, only 3 years old, but a tradition none the less is to be continued.  Also spread the news.

Start Gathering the Animals

Well we had 10 inches of rain so far and about another 3 hours of rain before it starts slowing down.  I will probably leave work early today since I doubt if I will get any last minute calls.

I can't believe I got a letter from state taxes yesterday for the business saying I missed one month. That being June 2005.  2005? that is over a year ago.  Is that how far the government is behind.  WTF?  Now I have to dig through my records to find a check for then.

Mom was off today.  Just in a bad mood so hopefully after her nap she will be better.  I did get to talk to my brother for about 10 minutes on the phone just about ourselves.  It was nice to be congratulated on my work on our Mom and his offer of help if I needed anything personally.  My brother made a good point about divorce.  I already knew from my own experience that Eric would still be able to grow to be productive being a child of divorce.  However my brother pointed out that you then don't have a template for how to make a relationship work to stay together.  Boy could I relate to that.  I mean I learned a lot the last 5 years of marriage.