Slow Rainy Day

Got to remember to bring my gym bag in the house now.  If I don't I'm forgetting stuff when I get to the gym.  Home life is nice.  It is good to talk to people at night.  Although I am back to my old nemesis of boredom.  Since I work a lot at night it is hard to schedule any regular activity and when I have time off I am looking around like what to do.  Something to work on.

Got to hang out with my Mom this morning in rehab and see what they are doing with her.  Also to see what I can do to help out when she is back in the memory unit since I know she won't remember.  My Mom's nails needed to be done so we did that today.  My brother and family sent her some clothes stuff.  Also some funky slippers that my Mom really liked.  She is attracted to very colorful stuff and boy were these colorful. 

I hate it when it is slow in the office.  Always scares me with money.  Well this is the end of the summer holiday and it all started July first so hopefully things will change around next week.

Let's Get Ready to Rumble

I guess the war rages on for some.  I went out for lunch today and I opened my door and the hallway was dark, but the front door was unlocked.  K my neighbor is directly across from me and can see my open sign.  I think she needs to stop self-medicating with her products.  Oye.

Well it was a good night sleep last night although I did wake up wondering where I was since I had gotten use to the hotel bed.  So now comes the process of personalizing my room.  Herman my landlord was surprised I still knew all the routines of the house and where stuff was.  It's nice having people in the house to talk with.  However I remembered my complaint.  I walked out to my car this morning to find it covered with leaves, pine needles, and sap.  I still have sap from the last time I lived here.

19 days and counting to get a court date for divorce.

All Moved In

Well I am all finished moving back into my old place.  It was nice catching up with my landlord about what has been happening over the past 6-7 months.  I'll catch up with one of my housemates later.  I have the smallest room in the house now.  It works for me.  After living in the office it is a step up.  I do miss the comradere.

 

Back in the Groove

Ah a peaceful night sleep except for somone BBQing in the hotel parking lot.  I thought it was a fire with all the smoke, but when I went out to check I saw that it was a grill. What will people think of next.

It was nice to get back into the gym again.  While I love my son it is nice to have my life back again. 

So my ex finally signed all the papers so I will drop them off at the court today to get the ball rolling again and get it all finished.  I need to pack up so I can move into my place tomorrow.  Also I need to jump start the office again since it is slow from the summer.  Bummed that Chirstine and my schedule do not click this week so we will get together the following weekend.  Hopefully my friend Peggy will come to the beach for a visit this weekend.

Catching Up

Internet connection has been shaky the last few days and it always craps out half way through my entry.  Anyway here is a catch up of the last few days.

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It really hit Eric Saturday that this was the last day.  By night fall he was crying about it.  He wished he had more time.  I asked him what he was really sad about.  He said he knew, but didn’t say.  I told him I probably could help him better if I knew, but to no avail.  He was so sad at bed time.  He was like, “Dad if you hear someone crying during the night it will be me.”  We’ve been sharing a king sized bed while he has been here.  I’ve been putting a row of pillows down the middle so I don’t get kicked and kneed throughout the night.  Last night he was like, “Dad can you move the pillows.  I don’t want anything between us tonight.”  He slept well I have to admit once he fell asleep.  I had to admit I was pretty calm through it all.  I knew Eric had to go back today.  That I would help and guide him in his pain, but I wasn’t going to take it away from him.  I knew how he learned to deal with it would dictate what kind of man he would become.  So after looking at it I was okay at being calm in the face of all this.

 

The trip home was pretty uneventful.  Eric still can’t fathom the distance.  We were 2 ½ hours into the trip and he was how much more?  I told him 3 ½ more hours.  Boy you should have seen his face.

 

Anyway he started crying just before I dropped him off and he finally let it out what he was so sad about. “It’s UNFAIR that we aren’t all together.”  I agreed with him because I knew it isn’t.  I wrote a letter to my ex telling her that Eric had stated that he had never expressed his feeling about our separation to the counselor.  So hopefully she will be able to get him back in.

 

The event of the day happened when I dropped Eric off.  My FIL as usual came to get Eric.  He was raging and I could tell.  He makes it very uncomfortable during the exchange.  Anyway he asks me where the exercise bike he gave us I think when we got married.  I answered I have no (fucking) clue.  Then I remembered and told him I had sold it to help pay our bills.  He was he wanted the full value of the bike.  LMAO.  We offered to give it back years ago and they didn’t want it.  Now?  I’ll write him and tell him the situation.  I know nothing I say will help.

Friday at McDonalds

My brother wrote to me to tell me what a great job I was doing with our Mom and that in any other condition she would be very proud too.  She did tell my bro that I looked good.

Trying to help Eric through the last few days by getting him to focus on the positive than the negative.  Using his video game as an example since he is getting better with it even though he thought he wouldn't. 

Holding my boundaries while he is her.  We stopped at Hardees where Eric actually ate a cheeseburger and enjoyed it.  Anyway an attractive blonde was looking at me.  If I was alone I would have spoken to her, but Eric and dating do not mix.  Maybe in years to come, but not now.  Little frustrated though since it very rarely happens when I am alone.

Thursday Night

I don't know how my son does it.  He has SO much energy and he is bouncing off the walls with me.  There are plenty of times I call him and he is just doing nothing for a day or two at home.  I would think he would explode.  Having the half day camp last week really help bleed that off.  I guess our talk last night went well since Eric is doing well today. 

My Mom looked good today.  She didn't want me to buy her any makeup, but she did want her jewelry.  So I cleaned up some and she looked good with it.  It was surprising how a little jewelry can change a appearance.

A Good Talk

Well Eric pulled me aside last night at work to talk in private.  He had a good cry and said he wanted to stay.  He wasn't choosing me over my ex, but just wanted us to all be together.  So I held him and we had a good talk.  I didn't bad mouth anyone.  I just told him his mom and me just don't get along.  That we loved each other, but that we learned it took more than that for a marriage to work.  And it was that part that we couldn't do.  That we knew that having two miserable parents would make him miserable.  Also that we knew that our marriage would affect how he would act when he loved someone.  That having separate parents that were happier would be able to do more for him.  That even though are marriage was bad he was the best thing in it and that we loved him very much.  I related some of my feeling to him from when my parents divorced so as to drive home he had nothing to do with it.  So he cried a lot, but seem to get some solace from it.  The thing I did find out was that I had pushed for counseling for Eric in court.  He had gotten it, but in talking last night I found out that he had never voiced these feeling in therapy.  So I will need to talk to my ex about getting him back in.

Well it Has Started

Well it has started.  My son has realized that he will be going home in a few days.  He can not name his emotions or deal with them effectively.  So he reverts back to a 3 year old and simpler times.  It is hard to get him back out of it.  I offer him ways back, but I leave the choice to him.  I know it will get worse it always does.  I'm trying to help him focus on enjoying the time instead of worrying about the time afterwards.  So we will see.

OMG

"Son, Daddy is trying to make it with a cheap floozie.  So cram a tinker toy into it!" ~ Bender

How did I my son become such a chatter box.  I remember my ex saying to our son when he called me a chatter box.  "You're Dad might be many things, but he is not a chatter box."  OMG when he gets going I swear he doesn't breath.  I put him in the car today and closed the door with him talking.  I walked around the car and got in and he was still talking.  I know he can be quiet when he is doing stuff, but boy do I want to duct tape his mouth shut.

Let see what else is going on.  B has a ring so that direction is closed off.  Christine and I have still been emailing each other about everyday.  So we should be able to get together once Eric goes back home. 

Monday's Day in Review

We stopped at Subway to get a sandwich today before we went to McDonalds play place.  I’m getting sick of the food after having almost everyday.  I go there about once a week.  This was the first time with Eric.  The cashier was funny.  She was like, “I didn’t know you had one of those.” LMAO. 

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It was nice to see my Mom’s face as she watched her 2 grandchildren play with each other.  She was extremely happy.  The meeting we had with them went very well.  Actually they didn’t have much to say since they know I am there almost daily and when anything has come up I have taken care of it in a timely fashion.  I was congratulated on my interaction with my Mom and how much that is helping her and that she has never seen this kind of involvement.  I took the compliments.  My brother and I got to see the nursing home side.  It was nice.  I’ve seen a <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />LOT worse.  My bro had a harder time with it.  She is in an extremely nice place now and we know it will end in a few months. 

 

Anyway we went out to dinner afterwards.  My SIL comes from a pretty stable family so my bro and I are like weird psych projects to her.  So we related different abuse stories, how we got past them, etc. It was fun.  Eric was board and wanted more of my attention, but without camp this week it was nice to have the distraction.  I love my son, but boy he just never shuts up.  We had a 10 minute conversation yesterday on why it would be bad to poop in a urinal.

 

Anyway they are leaving tomorrow, but we said we would keep in touch.  If my ex doesn’t bring Eric to see them then on my visits up I will try to meet up with them to go museum hoping or something in the city.

 

 

Monday

The get together with my brother and family went well.  I know for me the separation helped me in how I deal with them.  Eric enjoyed seeing them and playing with his cousin.  It was the first time I saw my 3 year old niece.  She is very cute and boy can she pound the food away.  We had a nice dinner and then went down to the bay to relax.  One of the local groups of dolphins came by while we were there and one actually flipped out of the water.  It was very cool to watch.  As night came all the jellyfish came out.  Boy were they big.  About a foot across.

Well let me get all my work done so I can get Eric out to play.  Boy I miss camp for Eric.

Wow What a Night

It was a lot later night than I thought it would be at valet.  Eric passed out early which was good.  It was a 30 year olds birthday party.  Boy what a group of entitled people.  What was funny was that I was talking to the security guard at the beginning of the night and he was saying how you can't be nice to these people.  They'll just walk all over you.  He was correct. 

One thing everyone loves to do is pull into the valet area and sit in their car.  Legally we can have them ticketed for it.  We try to be nice about it, but some people are just assholes.  Enter my guy tonight.  I asked him to move and he gave me the million and one excuses ending with 2 minutes.  10 minutes later it's interfering with my job.  So I got in his face and told him move it or I call the cops.  He moved it, but boy did he call me every name in the book.  Name calling has little affect on me. I knew he felt helpless in doing what I wanted and to make him feel better he had to name call.  Whatever.  I got what I wanted.

The next major incident is that we sit in comfy chairs in between runs.  So these to clowns just take upon themselves to sit in our chairs while we are working.  So when I am finished and they aren't moving.  I told them they needed to move.  One guy grumbled when he go out of my chair the other guy stood in my partners chair. That was his concern.  He did try to trip me as I ran though, but was gone when I got back.  What people will do to make themselves feel powerful.

What About B?

The head nurse where my Mom stays is B.  She has a great smile and I'm a sucker for a woman with a great smile like my Mom is for a guy with blue eyes.  However I never thought much of it.  Especially since a few weeks ago some guy (jerk) stopped buy to change some arrangement they had about paying bills.  Didn't look like a relative.  Anyway she usually talks a lot to me about my Mom and stuff.  And yesterday that little alarm in the back of my head went off that I think she likes me. 

TIME TO OVER THINK THIS!  LOL I guess I will poke around to see if she is with this guy or what. I have to admit I never even looked at her hand to see if she had a ring on.  As always the fear of making a fool of myself. Since I have been known to go off half cocked many times in the past.

Fearful Friday

Making the dreadful call to my old landlord to see if we are still on for me to move in Tuesday.  I dread it because it's the old "bad person, deserving bad things" tape playing.  Too much crap happens in my life and I know somewhere in the back of my mind it is because there is a inherent belief that I am a bad person or not good enough.  Anyway I can still move in just on the 28th which will be after Eric goes back so no real problem.

Felt bad for the little guy yesterday after the 4th or 5th call from my ex he finally called her.  When he explained that he is in camp and that he told her that Tuesday also I think she went off on him which is usual for her when she feels out of control.  I could hear the defensive tone in his voice before he was steam rolled.  Know the sound well.  Not quite sure how to handle it with him except always to be a safe place for him to talk.  He didn't want to talk about it and I never want to pry. So we will see. 

I have to admit I love the reality show "Who Wants to Be a Super Hero".  A big comic fan growing up I can really relate and it was great to watch it last night with Eric and guess who is going to get eliminated.

Got kudos from my SIL about where my Mom lives.  They visited last night and will take her out today.  No mention of getting together which I have to admit is what I set up 9 years ago.  I have no real want to get together, but I do feel an obligation.  So I have no idea what I will do. 

Thursday

My ex is pissing me off.  What else is new?  Anyway I'm having Eric call ever other day which is actually one more day than I get.  I digress.  As soon as the day ends she is already calling for him.  I miss days and nothing seems to happen. 

I still have not heard back from her on the divorce service papers.  I had wrote her  a few weeks ago asking for them or an update.  Still nothing.  This is one of the reasons we aren't together.  She has asked me to accept her boundaries of not calling yet will not respond to me.   So I will write her once more and if no response I will go back to calling.  Easier for me.  It's a 2 way street and if it is going to go back to being a one way street forget about it.

Captain Sub-Text

I'm glad there is no real Captain Sub-Text because my real thoughts would not be good for my son to hear.  LOL.

Eric keep giving me the same answer for the hundreth time after me asking him to stop doing something. 

Eric: but I like doing it.

Me: you have to realize that others have feelings and may not like what you are doing.

Captain Sub-text: I don't give a shit what you like.

Eric constantly barraging me with what my favorite or best is for at least 20 minutes.

Eric: yeah, but what is your absolute favorite bug?

Me: I don't have favorites.  I like a lot of different ones.

Captian Sub-Text: STFU! (Shut The F*ck Up)

We have our moments LOL, but I am loving it all.

Wednesday

Well my Mom's chair will FINALLY be delivered today.  They said it could take up to 3 months and boy they weren't kidding.  She seems a little more emotional this week.  As the Aricept goes out of her system this will happen.  It's a litle difficult since she will some times break into tears because she is so happy to see me or for something I did. 

Tomorrow my bro and family will arrive.  I haven't seen him in about 9 years.  Don't miss it.  So I am not quite sure how it will go when I do see him.  Nothing has changed on their end.  Same crap different day. 

Taking it easy with business while Eric is here.  Making sure everything is being taken care of and gearing everything up for my healthcare talk at the end of the month.  Also my other talks next month. 

Trying to figure out if I should get Eric private swim lessons while he is here.  He really want to swim since everyone else in his camp can swim and he can't.  My only worry is that he loves to play once he gets in the water and in the past hasn't gotten much out of it.  He does well with land sports so I hope he has changed.  It would give me some small amounts of free time next week to workout.

Monday

I hate getting up early.  My son has always been up with the dawn since he was a baby.  Even with 8 hours I hate getting up that early.

The drive went well and I even made it up there in 6 hours which was a new record.  I wasn't even hammering it there was just no traffic.  I couldn't say that on the way back.  However we did make it back while it was light out which was new.  It was fun to point out deer in the fields as we drove.

As always there is the decisions on where to draw my lines with my son.  I don't want to bang heads with him like I use to when he was younger.  However my ex lets him be a slob.  Sorry that doesn't float with me.  You can keep your room the way you want, but if it comes to the rest of the place no way.  He trashed my car yesterday with wrappers and stuff.  This morning I got up and there was clothes everywhere.  Grateful that he will clean up if I tell him, but I have to tell him about everything. 

He's at camp now and hopefully enjoying himself.  I'm just getting work done at the office.  I wish there was another week of camp, but this is the last week.  Nothing happening this afternoon so we will go out and do something after visiting my Mom.  I want him to get a sense of taking care of family. 

My Boy is Growing Up

My son came out of the bathroom yesterday and said, "there's nothing like a good poop."  LOL

It brings a tear to my eye.

Friday Thoughts

I stopped by my friends today to get some treatment for myself.  Told him I would most likely see him Monday since I am making my marathon trip Sunday to pick up Eric which usually kills my back.  He stated that I was a good dad.  It got me thinking.  I never think that I am a good person.  I don’t consciously think I am a bad person, but since I don’t do the good I know I feel in the blanks with something bad.  I remember that Monae said that I was a good person and deserve good things and it was a great mantra for a few days to pick myself up.  I know it is why I do a lot.  However I know I take very little if any pride in what I do.

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A separate issue.  Every week I do my Mom’s nails.  It’s become funny now.  All the other residents are coming over and asking me if I do them for everyone.  LOL.  I tell them the person who does it comes Monday.  Hopefully they will leave me alone.  LOL.  Now they want kisses goodbye also.  Oye. 

A Good Reminder

I remember talking to a friend of mine that is also in private practice.  She asked me what the biggest problem was for growing the practice.  I told it was me.  That point war reminded to me yesterday after setting up the lectures at the local elementary school.  I've done some envelope pushing stuff with my practice over last 2 years with marketing.  It is always that stuff that will make the business grow.  However for me to do that I have to step out of my comfort zone and take a leap of faith.  They all don't work out, but that is never the point.  The point is me increasing the size of my comfort zone. 

I got screwed out of $5 today.  I went to Chik Fil A and the cashier forgot to give me my change back.  So I brought it up and the manager was let me just count the drawer and we will take care of you.  They count the draw and she is $20 under already.  So they take my name and number and will call me when they are able to do a complete check.  I'm not holding my breath.

Oye What Did I Get Myself Into?

Well it worked out very well setting up my talk.  The PTA pushed me over to the principal and I am talking at their open house nights.  The largest of the 3 nights will be 300 people.  Yowzers!  At least it starts out small at 80, then 200, then the biggie at 300.  LOL.

Same Ole Song & Dance

Well I want to call the PTA president today and the nerves are their.  As always when doing things for the first time I fall back into that old belief that it has to be done perfect.  Which is my old tape of needing to be perfect to be accepted.  So it a workout to get past it.  One being I don't have anything now so there is nothing to lose, but bigger is that it will never be perfect.  That is something that is hard for me to accept since I am always working towards that goal.

Got good news in that my Mom can get Medicaid when the time comes even though her house is being sold.  As long as we are attempting to sell it she falls in to the category of acceptance. 

Holy Crap!

Okay I'm looking through info on AOL pages and all of a sudden a giant Covergirl mascara comes down and block my info for about 8 seconds.   WTF!  Just when you though the crap on top was bad they take it up a notch.

Back in the Saddle Again

I got my groove back on.  LOL.  I was able to download a good back pack safety presentation and I contacted a associate that I know through MySpace that is on the PTA.  She gave me all the information about all the people to contact.  So hopefully I can get a few things going through that.  I heard that the principal in the elementary school accross the street is big into exercise so we will see how this goes.

Marking My Territory

"I'm just marking my territory." ~ J. Nicholson

A great line from a not so great movie.  Anyway that is what I am doing today.  Since last week's talk from my landlord I have felt like a pariah in my own office. I can't let this happen.  I need to be comfortable in my own office and skin.  I pay for it.  Also I know it is never contained into one area of my life.  It always bleeds over into everything else.  So that is what I am doing today.  Dropping what I think people think like the bad habit it is.  Also stop being a mouse with K accross the hall.  I was worried she would squeal on me which I believe she did so now their is nothing to hide from.  Again regaining myself which will help me refocus here in the office. 

I tell you the difference between a first rate motel and not.  While the place I am staying has a lot of ammenities for the money, which surprises me, some of the staff are idiots.  Thier wireless was having problems last night and I called the front desk and the guy was like "I don't know" and he was happy with that.  LOL.

Tired and Unfocused

Someone screeched tires last night and woke me up.  I thought someone was screaming so my adrenalin was pumping and it took me a good long while to fall back to sleep so I am tired today.  It took me a long time to pry myself out of bed this morning.

I am going through the business motions, but it is hard to get truly focused like I was 2 months ago.  All this business with my Mom has distracted me and I am having a hard time refocusing back.

I think I will leave a little early today since it is slow and relax back at the motel before my meeting tonight.  Maybe I will grab a dip in the pool later.  We'll see. 

Grovin on a Sunday Afternoon

Oh it was so nice to have my pillow last night.  I kept forgetting it at the office and the pillows in the hotels if they can be called that haven’t been that comfortable.  However I remembered yesterday and boy did I sleep sound last night. 

 

I enjoyed a nice visit with my Mom today which is bizarre since it is something I never thought I would say.  However it plays to my strengths which is doing.  I am enjoying decorating her room and then I took her for a walk to get some exercise.  It was one of those days that she forgot how to walk even though she was doing it.  What was really funny was another resident was showing my Mom how to walk and it was like a train around the room.

 

Still communicating with Christine and she will be back from Germany next weekend.  So we are still planning to go out when Eric goes back to NY.

 

Well I seem to found a motel that is nice and inexpensive so I will most likely stay here till I move into my new place.

 

It wasa nice relaxing night I met a friend for dinner and we relaxed and caught up since we haven’t talked in a few months since he has been busy with his business. 

Saturday Night

Well the heat wave finally broke and it was a beautiful day here.  For the most part I was indoors in a seminar.  It was helpful information even though it was dry stuff.  Sad that my friend Peggy couldn't make it.

So I went down to the beach afterwards to read and relax.  The beach umbrella I got on sale a few weeks ago worked out great to keep the sun off of me while I read.  There was some big waves there at the ocean front.  I parked myself far back since I could see that waves were coming pretty far up the beach.  Actually past the lifeguard stand. 

Well the Junior Olympics will end tomorrow and the motel situation will return to normal.  I will check this places prices for the week.  If it is too high I will go back to the other place.  This places Internet connection isn't great, but it is real nice and big, plus close to the office.   

Fun Friday

Just went to the Post Office around the corner and I saw that they are going to put in a Starbucks.  Woo hoo!.  I'm hoping it is separate from the Farm Fresh supermarket.  There isn't any in my local area.  Five minutes down the road the are plenty.

I was saddened to hear from my Mom's doctor this morning.  He isn't making it in private practice so he is going back to urgent care.  He's a great doctor so I am sad to see him go.  However I found another one through the place my Mom is.  The come right to the facility which is great.  It is so hard to treat this age population.  They have the most wrong with them, but have the worse coverage and the hardest to get paid.

My Mom is doing well in the new facility and I wish she had more money to last their a while because it is the care that she needs.  I stopped there and cut and did her nails for her.  The nurses joked about my job and I think I will let them do it each week unless my Mom still wants me to do it.  LOL.

Still trying to push the gratitude that I have the money to pay for all this lodging.  However it is all my money that I have worked hard these past few months to save. 

I have a seminar tomorrow and I think my friend Peggy is coming from the western part of the state.  I don't have to work tomorrow night so hopefully we can grab a bite to eat together.

Thursday

OMG is it hot. The breeze even burns.  Well I finally found out why all the motels are booked up.  This week is the junior Olympics in town.  Everyone leaves Sunday and things will get back to normal.  Trying my darnest to get the best deal in town, but vacancies where disappearing fast.  Some of these places are huge for the money.  The place I had last night and the place I have for the weekend I would take as an apartment.

Difficult getting use to my Mom.  Even before the stroke she wasn't this emotional.  So it is real different and rough for me.  However she likes the place and the staff is good.

Jeez TV sucks.  I almost never watch it now.  However having cable last night I was able to see everything and still nothing really on.

Summer Rental

Boy this is when you hate being in a resort city.  Motels rooms are high for the summer and pretty booked.  I found a nice place tonight although it is a smoking room which sucks.  Pain in the ass finding it though.  The guy never told me the changed to a Days Inn.  I'm driving back and forth looking for the Tides Inn. I might be bouncing around until I can get a reservation.  The thing that sucks is it going to be a lot of money till the 22nd to have shelter.  Other than that everything else is pretty okay.

My Mom is sad and misses her grandchildren.  She doesn't remember that she saw Eric 2 weeks ago.  So this move has brought up a lot of sad feelings for her.  Always painful watching other people sad.  Trying to be happy for her since this is appropriate behavior that I wasn't expecting to see.  I know it happens a lot, but it is still weird to experience.  The nurses pulled me aside today.  Boy did I stress with that.  Didn't need anything else on my plate today.  They just told me that Mom had been upset yesterday, but they calmed her down.  They just wanted to know if they could call me when this happened.  I was like sure.  They informed me that many family members instruct them not to call. 

I Got One Day of Rest

Well I finished my Mom's stuff Monday so I had yesterday to rest.  Today I was informed that I couldn't sleep in the office anymore.  So a new project to start.  I really wish it was next month so I wouldn't have to worry about Eric.  After some thought I called my old landlord who I left on good terms and he said he would have a place open by the 22nd.  It wasn't my old room, but a smaller one which was okay with me.  So I am not quite sure what I am doing with Eric yet.  I don't want to cancel like I had to do last year when I lost my last lease.  I was suppose to pick him up on the 13th, but now I need to see if  I need to push that back or not.  LOL.  I tell you there is always something in my life.  The one thing I will do is use the extra room for storage and get rid of my storage unit to save money that way.

Tuesday Morning

Wow I didn't realize how much a wieght I was carrying around trying to get my Mom into the new place.  Cause this morning I am nice and light and truly exhausted as my body relaxes.  I was almost knocked out like the other lady in yoga class this morning.  LOL.

Well so far zilch from my newspaper ad.  They never really work for me, but I tried a different tack this time to get people to think.  So hopefully it will do something with the second one.  God it is slow.