Done

Well the move is finished.  A little emotional since I will miss everyone.  However I also realized that this is the first move in a while that was amiable.  Most moves in the last 6 years have been due to problems with the landlords or the place we lived.  It was nice to be leaving on good terms, but that is also what made it weird.  It's easier to leave when your pissed.

Anyway my storage unit is now a engineering marvel of stored stuff.  Unpacking will take a few days as will getting to new routines.  The strangest thing I guess is the absence of people around.  No I enjoyed when the house was empty. I guess this place just feels more empty.  Well it is an office so I guess that is normal.

Mean People Suck

Marketing seems to lead me to many strange and very angry people.  Today's episode was some woman who recieved something I mailed to her.  I haven't mailed anything in months.  Anyhow she didn't like that I mailed her something.  For some strange reason she then went to my website to look at it and search for every spelling and grammatical error on it.  I guess she doesn't have much of a life.  I know when I get something I don't like it goes directly into the garbage and is not remembered one second later.  To top it off she had to email me this whole scenario and to inform me that she would never use my services.  LMAO!  Lady you don't need my services, but you could benefit from a mental health specialist.

Moving

Boy am I glad I got a lot of the big stuffed moved already because I am tired from the trip.  I'll be at job #2 tonight and tomorrow so time is at a premium.  Really only daily clothes are left and a few odds and ends.  Then just cleaning. 

I think a lot of past anxiety move stuff is coming to my head since I am anxious with it.   However everything seems to be going well.  I guess just worried about some unexpected thing coming up. 

I do have to say that I am using every inch of my storage unit and getting my monies worth.  Living in the office will be interesting, but I have to admit I am looking forward to it.  Stocked up on food this morning and everything looks like a go.

Attitudes

  As usual it is my attitude that dictates how I will deal with my life.  Grateful to have made progress over these defects.  Friday on my way to visit my son.  The Sheriff's department had left me a message saying that the paperwork I had dropped off wasn't completed.  As usual I dropped to a negative attitude of what a pain, far to drive, not going to work.  However it was quickly replaced by a more positive outlook.  Well was going down to pick up my paycheck which is 2 block away.  They didn't say I did anything work or that it wouldn't work.  Just the bonding company needed to do a few more things.  Then I realized I forgot my closes at the house.  Again the pissy feelings.  Then the realization I was still in the area with my errands and hadn't crossed the bridge yet which is $12 each way.  Again gratitude replaced the negative feelings.   This morning I found myself in the same place.  I fell behind in my computer payments when they stopped sending me my bills.  So they called this morning wanting all their money.  Like the past fear takes over and I feel stuck in a hole with no options.  That has been the greatest blessing of my spiritual growth.  I have choices always.  So as soon as I realized my options and choices my fear disappeared.    Through out all of this nothing changed except my attitude and that is all it took.

  

Pasta, pasta, pasta

It's funny my son has tied some foods to me.  I eat a lot of pasta.  I have it for breakfast for the last 20 years or so.  Nothing to do with being Italian, just need something heavy to get me going.  Anyway everytime we are together boy Eric can't wait for me to make him pasta.  I'm usually cooking it all day long.  LOL.  It's a bonding thing.

Let's Get Physical

Well my trip went well.  I did forget my clothes and had to go back for them, but gratefully I wasn't to far.  However I made good time both ways. 

I've been out of NY for over 2 years now and I don't miss it.  If it wasn't for my son I don't think I would ever go back.  It doesn't feel like home and the feeling that is there I don't like.  OMG I forgot how every thing is so expensive.  LOL.  I've gotten use to my cheaper southern lifestyle.  The weather was cold, but not bad.  However the wind was brutal. 

My son enjoyed the presents however I think he enjoys more the physicalness that I bring to the relationship.  No one else is going to rough house him or pick him up.  Maybe it's the age.  I do know it is part of being a boy.  he was very happy to topple me over in wrestling.  I need to work out more since he is getting bigger and stronger. 

Eric did very well with the bike.  The best part was that he was exhausted that night and slept like a log.  I forgot what the world looks like before 6 am.  Still don't like it.  The funny thing is that he scoured my car for happy meal toys and found a bunch.  He seemed to like them the best.

We played a lot of board games, he road his bike, and we went to McDonald's play land so that he could get his kids interaction fix.

I was pissed at my ex.  She sent a project that Eric had to do for school.  I was very happy to do it, but it was a week long project.  Not a good way to teach good skills.  Anyway it was vacation journal with Flat Stanley (that's the small picture person in the pics).  Enjoy the pics.

The drop off ride is always a quiet one.  We are not looking forward to it and he is hard to engage.  However it was great time and I will miss him greatly.

All Set

Well all set.  Everything is all packed up and I will leave in the morning to visit my son.  Many people have asked what I got him for his birthday so here is the list.

First bike (w/training wheels), Cyberchase computer game, Yu Gi Oh tin with cards, Ricky Riccota's Might Robot book #2, and 2 Duel Monster figures.  Let me tell you thrift stores and the Dollar store really helped this time around. 

Boy am I tired.  The 2 jobs, getting ready for the trip, and moving next week have taken their toll on me.  The weather in NY for the weekend will be not great and cold.  I've gotten use the Southern winter.  However I am looking forward to the trip and it is only a one way trip on one day so that it is a relief.  Good night everyone. 

Break Time Funnies

Immigration Test

Mujibar was trying to get into the USA legally through Immigration.

The Officer said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except there is one more test. Unless you pass it, you cannot enter the United States of America."

Mujibar said, "I am ready."

The officer said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green."

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister Officer, I am ready."

The Officer said, "Go ahead."

Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, green, and I pink it up, and say, "Yellow, this is Mujibar."

Mujibar now lives in a neighborhood near you and works at a Verizon help desk.

Breaking News

Some of you might think I have dropped off the face of the planet since their won't be any new entries till Monday.  I will be visiting my son in NY for his birthday.  Entries will resume Monday.  Enjoy everyone.

"Also as the user agreement that you agreed to don't forget to rub your nipples against the monitor screen twice a day."   ~ Foamy

ROFLMAO

One of the comments from my last entry said that I don't give myself enough credit.  ROFLMAO.  Me give myself credit?  I don't think so.  Still a problem.  I remember about 5-6 years ago when I wanted me to write down 10 things I was grateful for.  Thirty minutes later my head hurt like hell and their wasn't much in the paper.  Thankful to say I can come up with a list very fast now a days.  However give myself credit and take pride in my achievements are still low on the scale.  There still is no pride in finishing Chiropractic college to most peoples amazement.  No quite sure where to go with this one.  Hey one day the answer will come.

Good Living

It's funny how I can apply something to other people, but not myself.  Today at my second job I was talking to one of the woman in the building.  We were just chatting about the coming weekend.  I said I wouldn't be around for the weekend since I was going to NY to see my son.  She looked at me and said you're too young to have kids.  So I asked how old did she think I was?  She said 16 cause she didn't know.  It was funny to see her world stop when I told her I was 39.  She looked at me and said I'm 39.  LOL.  Then she asked me if I do a lot of clean living which I replied yes.  She admitted she hadn't which I knew.  Smoking and drinking had taken it's toll on her skin. 

I know most of my young looks are genetic from my Mom, but I never take into account all the clean living I do. I talk to my patients about it, but I never give myself the credit for it.

Good & Bad

Well the good goes with the bad.  Today is my busiest day at the office in a while.  Hey good news.  Bad news my phone got turned off today.  LOL.  Short about $20 in my account to pay it off.  Have to wait till tomorrow when everything clears.  As always it is my attitude that dictates how I feel.   This morning I was freaking out and trying to figure how to make it happen.  When all my avenues till tomorrow were used up I was still brain storming.  When I'm in that state I am STRESSED.  So I had to just let it go.  I did everything I could do today.  Driving myself crazy about it isn't going to help.  Having done that I am actually laughing about it.  Maybe I finally lost it.  Who knows?  Well that's my story and I am sticking to it.

Now This Is Funny

In an effort to stay healthy and lose weight many people might be surprised by this.

McDonald's Salad Has More Fat Than Cheeseburger

 "You can choose your salad, topping and dressing. You can mix and match to suit your diet and lifestyle," said a McDonald's spokeswoman. However, consumers hoping to lose weight by switching from burgers to salads may be disappointed, according to the Interactive Nutrition Counter on the McDonald's Web site. For example, on the new menu to be launched at the end of this month, a "Caesar salad with Chicken Premiere" contains 18.4 grams of fat compared with 11.5 grams of fat in a standard cheeseburger.

Another Brick to the Head

                   

Well I finally get it.  How many years?  LOL.  Like myself and all the things I need to do each day to stay healthy and move in a positive direction.  So does my office.  Funny I have run businesses for so many years now, but this time all by myself.  Also in the last two places I rented this is all the stuff I taught them, but I never got it myself.  LOL.  I don't believe myself sometimes.  How much I need to have things bashed into my head to get stuff.  The funny thing it is all good stuff, but I guess I still want to be a child and do it my way, hold my breath, tantrum, etc.  Until I finally give up and learn a better way.  Done it in the rest of my life so I guess here too.

Asking

There is an old joke about a man who stands on a street corner and ask every passerby for fifty dollars.  When an observer makes fun of him for standing around all day and making a fool of himself, the man says, "I may look ridiculous, but I'll bet I get more more fifty dollar bills than you do."

I use to be an emotional chicken.  Skate around the tough issues.  Never asked for stuff so that lowered my disappointment.  My rationale was that I had grown up with not much and I was use to it.  Then one day I realized that back then I didn't have a choice, but now as an adult I do.  I am the only one limiting myself to the life around me.  I may not get the things I want when I express myself, but I will get it more times than if I never say anything.

WHEW!

Whew is right.  I've been updating the office today.  Tossing out old papers.  Installing new procedures, forms, etc.  Working on fixing all the holes so nothing leaks out of the bucket.  It feels good to do the work.  There is a nice sense of accomplishment.  I think I will tackle my desk tomorrow before patients show up.  As always I wish there was more room, however since I will be living here soon I know where all my storage space has gone to. 

     Here is a joke while I relax:

While nursing a drink at a bar, a young woman was distressed to see a drunken unkept man sit down next to her.

"Say, honey-baby... I'd really like t'get into those pants o'yours."

"Thanks," she shot back, "but I've already got an asshole in there."

Writing

"Today, I will remember that there is a powerful force motivated by writing down goals.  I will do it now, for the year to come, and regularly as needed.  I will do it not to control but to do my part in living life."

 

I've read this affirmation for about 4-5 years daily now.  However over the last few years I have dropped the practice of it.  A lot of changes in my work routines led to it's decline, but I have not made a effort to keep it up has been nailing the nails in the coffin. 

 

I am good at thinking things up, but keeping it all in my head is a problem.  Like a juggler with too many balls in the air I start dropping things.  Usually it is by forgetting and then I will hopefully remember in the future. 

 

 

I was reminded of this when I was talking to a friend over the weekend.  We were chatting online and she was asking me for some help figuring a problem out.  When she finished typing it all out she said never mind I know the solution.  It reminded me of the power of seeing things in black & white.  It makes things more objective.  It is harder to deny the facts since you can't turn from them like you would in your mind. 

 

It was one of the reasons I started this journal up.  I use tojournal daily, but over the years I have let it slide.  Like the person that told me about this I feel some accountability to stay current with my entries. 

 

 

It is also a good reminder of how life is.  Doesn't matter what I did yesterday or the day before.  My journal will not stay by sitting on my laurels.  It continues by working on it daily like myself, my job, my relationships, etc.

Saturday Afternoon

After my last entry I began thinking.  It has been about a week and half since my vertigo started back up again.  It took me days to remember to treat myself and today I needed to take a crowbar to move my ass to do it.  Treatment takes about a minute or two and I feel better.  So why this procrastination?  It makes me wonder and worry.  I know me.  This means I am denying another part of my life.  My little defects never stay compartmentalized.  The slowly creep all over the place.  So if I am forgetting to treat myself for the vertigo what else am I forgetting to do to take care of myself? 

Years ago a friend in AA told me, "to follow an addiction is to believe a lie".   I always liked this statement.  What lies have a told myself to help deal with something.  I remember how I use to be.  LOL.  I was telling myself a lot of lies to survive life.  Ended up with a root canal from a tiny cavity that I kept forgetting to take care of.  So I have some meditating to do on this.

AOL & Vertigo

      Arrgghh!!!  LOL.  My AOL seems to be in flux this morning.  I open up my address book this morning and it has everyone I ever emailed for the last 2 years in it.  What the hell?  It took me a long while to delete all the crap.   Then my buddy list is in flux.  It seems to have forgotten everyone's real name.  Just wants to remember everyone's screen name.  Well after opening and closing the list a few times 90% of it went back to normal.    Glad to say my vertigo isn't in full swing today, but I'm not completely balanced.  No jokes please.  I guess no tight rope walking for me today.  Guess I need some treatment.

Story Telling

"I have learned from long experience that people, take them as they run, are more easily influenced through the medium of a broad and humorous illustration than in any other way." ~ Abraham Lincoln

I got my weekly fatherhood news today.  They told of two studies that children learn more from stories than lectures.  Any parent could tell you this. Thirty seconds into a lecture you can see a kid's eye glaze over.  I know mine still do.  LOL.  I know I learn best from hearing personal stories.  Also especially for boys it is good for them to hear that we as adults aren't perfect and they don't have to be either.  I know as a child I thought I had to be perfect and that has followed me into adulthood. 

It's funny. Stories I have told my son years ago he still remembers.  Many things I have told him are long forgotten.  He remembers to make sure the toilet lid is down so you don't end up falling in.  Riding or walking for long periods of time with your eyes close is not a good thing.  I rode my bike into a stop sign.  Jeez there was so many.  Always good for a good laugh.  Also to have my son ask, "why did you do that?"  never really have a good answer besides I wasn't thinking. LOL.

STARDATE 2006.03.17

STARDATE 2006.03.17

 

This is the final log of Captain Mike of the Starship AOL Guest Editor.  It’s one week journey to help everyone explore new journals, new writers, and new people.  To boldly go where hopefully everyone will keep going from now on. 

 

The following chronicles the lives of the crew:

 

Helms Officer Tina (Ride Along with Me) bought the old Partridge family psychedelic bus and can be found traveling up and down the Pacific Highway telling stories to tourist and anyone else who wants to go along for the ride.

 

Communications Officer Marina (Losing It) became a celebrity after her friend’s psychic network show knocked Oprah out of her time slot.  Her entertainment news segment has been known to make or break celebrities’ careers.

 

Science Officer Rebecca (In the Shadow if Iris) in her final act of “sticking her head in the sand” finally decided to climb the Swiss Alps.  Urban legend has it that she met the Old Man of the Mountain there and learned the secret of life.  Supposedly she is still ROFLHAO from the answer.

 

Engineering Officer Amy (Sugar, Spice, & Everything Nice) opened the first integrated human animal home school.  Drinking enough coffee she is able to perform all the positions in the school by herself.  Her Home School for Dummies book was on the NY Times best seller list.

 

Medical Officer Linda (Living with Chronic Pancreatitis) in trying to find a treatment for her condition traveled to the Amazon Jungle looking for rare herbs.  There she was captured by a primitive tribe.  Amazing them with what she knew she was made their queen.  She never found the herbs, but is pampered daily by the entire tribe.

 

Tactical Officer Monica (Living Life and Loving It) in total frustration of her two jobs decided to combine them into one.  She now has a government contract to hair style all the postal workers.  The new do's are suppose to have a de stressing affect on the workers. 

 

Captain Mike (Going Sane in a Crazy World) in a fit of frustration at the world at large.  Moved out of his place and moved into a mental institution to be with all the “normal” people.  His only contact with the outside world is through his journal and daily email joke webring.

 

Deep Thoughts Part ?

Bored at home or work?  Well here is a little mental workout for you.

Have You Ever Wondered If...

1. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 

2. If God dropped acid, would he see people?

3. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

4. If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

5. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

6. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

7. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole damn airplane made out of that stuff?

8. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

9. Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

10. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

11. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

12. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

13. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

14. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

15. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

16. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

17. Can vegans eat animal crackers?

18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

20. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

No Ice Please

Did you read this?  If you do it may change how you drink when you go out.

Girl, 12, proves toilet water cleaner than ice

A Florida schoolgirl won top prize with a science project proving toilet water is cleaner than ice in fast food restaurants.

Jasmine Roberts, 12, of New Tampa, tested her thoery in five local restaurants, reports Tampa Bay's 10 News.

"My hypothesis was that the fast food restaurants’ ice would contain more bacteria that the fast food restaurants’ toilet water," she said.

Jasmine says at each restaurant she flushed the toilet once, then used sterile gloves to gather samples.

She also collected ice from soda fountains and asked for cups of ice at drive thru windows. She then tested the samples at a lab.

Jasmine said: "I found that 70% of the time, the ice from the fast food restaurant's contain more bacteria than the fast food restaurant's toilet water."

Her project won the science fair at Benito Middle School, and she hopes to win the top prize at a regional science and engineering fair.

Can't Believe I Forgot

Been slowly packing for my move at the end of the month.  I decided to start moving some boxes to storage today.  Man soon as I lifted a box I remembered how much I hate moving.  I think I have moved as much a military brat over the years.  Well hopefully I will spread it out over the next two weeks so it is not so bad.  Have to admit I wanted to make the first move of boxes today before my landlord got back from his vacation.  Still my fear of his feelings about me moving.  Being honest about this because I know I can't compartmentalize anything.  It will bleed into other areas of my life and cause problems. Another lesson to be learned.

Enter Oh Seeker of Knowledge

Hey join me and the rest of my friends at Frappr.  You'll be glad you did.  LOL.

Need Money to Make Money

There I was.  I had everything set up.  Money for bills, money to go visit my son, then WHAM!  The bonding coming called today to say my papers where all finished and it would be $225.  Uggghhh!  I was informed I can put it on the total bill I am owed.  LOL.  By the time I am finished I think the amount the guy owes me is going to be equal to the national debt. 

So here I am.  Back in the drivers seat trying to think of ways to bend the four corners of the world to make this work.  When I am in this state I am tense and my peace of mind goes out the window.  So I working on letting this go.  Since the levy expires Friday and I would have to again go through the process and more money I will go forward with this one.  Push some bills back and hope I can stay with a friend while I visit my son next week. 

Say a Prayer Part II

Still reflecting on this.  I guess I can relate.  I've been in a long standing abusive relationship.  Grateful to have the wits to stop the physical abuse as soon as it started and hold firm with it.  However emotional and verbal abuse abounded.  It always starts small and slowly grows.  To pick a person that will do this means you are already pretty low yourself as I was. 

As I got my wits about myself friends would always tell me to get out and that I deserved better.  My answer was that the minute I believe I deserve better I will be out of this relationship, but not a second before.  We are loved as much as we love ourselves.  If we think we are crap then if we are treated like that it makes sense to our warped world. 

On a side note.  SOmeone had left a comment in my other journal that I must have the most dysfunctional family on the face of the earth.  God bless him if he believes that.  Grateful that the horrors of the world have not touched him.  LMAO though.  I have known many people over the years that make my family life look like the Brady Bunch.

Baby and the Bath Water

Reading one of my daily readers this morning and this was the title.  It reminded me how this saying got started.  Can't believe all the useless shit in my head. LOL. 

In olden days when their was no running water.  One bath would be made for the family.  Since men were more important than women.  The father would go first,  followed by the mother, then the oldest children down to the youngest.  Well you can imagine what the water looked like when you got down to the baby.  That is how the saying got started.  Make sure you check that the baby wasn't still in the dirty water, before you tossed it out.  Pretty gross huh?

Say A Prayer

We have been talking about this for the last week at my second job.  One of the secretaries never talked to anyone when she left the building.  You would say "hello" and she would just keep walking.  It was very strange, but no one knew why.  Well we found out today.  It was because her husband use to pick her up after work everyday.  If she talked to anyone he would beat her more than he normally did.  How did we find this out?  Well last week he upped the ante by putting a gun in her mouth and blowing the back of her head off. 

I grew up with the stories of my grandfather and his rages.  I am very surprised how many patients I have that have gone through it.  Spinal fusions from being thrown downstairs or through walls.  I even have a lady that has titanium in her face that was used to reconstruct it after it was caved in. 

Not quite sure where I am going with this all.  Just a lot of feelings and just letting them out.  Can't really say that since I didn't use many feeling words, but just needed to get it out.

The End of V Day

I want to thank everyone for the very nice comments and emails wishing me well on this day.  LOL.  Guys don't care, but women seem very saddened that you don't have someone to spend the holiday with.  LOL.

Most people don't get that I choose to be single again a while ago and it may be a while before I date again.  When I started dating again about 9 months ago after 16 years it was because I felt I had hit a wall of self growth.  That I needed to be in a relationship again ti challenge me to grow some more.  I got a lot out of dating again, but that feeling of needing to be in a relationship again to grow disappeared.  Now when I think of dating again the only reason I can think of is sex.  I've connected sexually with women my whole life and it lead me to bad relationships.  So now I strive for more intimate relationships, but at this time I don't really want one.  I know I need more Mike time.  So I am enjoying my single time.

Thanks again for all the warm wishes.  Hope you also had a great day.

Happy Valentine's Day

 

Happy Valentine's Day everyone.  And yes I do keep my heart in my pants.  No diaper though.  I awoke this morning okay that it is Valantine's Day and I am by myself this year.  It's by choice.  However after talking to a few people today I am starting to feel like a leper.  Hey it's not a birth defect or an injury.  So I find this sympathy misplaced.  No one cared yesterday and no one will care tomorrow. 

 Maybe I'll have to put a blow up doll in the corner of the office and say that is my date.  People's faces would be priceless, but I don't think I would have any patients after that prank.    I am staying out of any stores today that have cards, balloons, or flowers.  It will be a Christmas nightmare all over again.  Even yesterday when I stopped at Party City to pick up St. Patrick's Day decorations for the office it was a mob scene.  I felt out of place with everyone grabbing red heart shapes and me grabbing green shamrocks.  I think everyone was caught up in the frenzy to notice me.  Enjoy the day everyone.

     

HEY WHAT HAPPENED!

I just looked back at my journal.  My Valentine's Day entry is not here.  What the %$@%$#%$#!!! 

What Does She Want?

I found this article out there as I go through all my daily stuff.  From what I hear out there all the journals sounds different from this.

What Women Want: S-E-X!
Source: nydailynews.com

What does she really want for Valentine's Day?

A new poll says men should skip the flowers and chocolate and move straight to the bedroom.

More than 52% of American women said they wanted to have sex on the most romantic day of the year, a result that may have pleased the condom company that sponsored the survey.

Hanky-panky beat out the 45% looking for a greeting card, 41% hoping for flowers and a surprisingly low 30% counting on chocolates.

Only 27% of women were angling for jewelry and one in 10 held out for sexy lingerie.

The craving for some Valentine's Day action was highest among younger women, with 76% of those 18 to 34 saying they wanted sex, compared with just 24% of those older than 55, according to the poll.

Meanwhile, an online poll conducted by Jane magazine found only 31% of women take Valentine's Day seriously, and 54% say they couldn't care less if they get a present.

A Numbing

I was reading my Dilbert desk calendar today and they had a strip on office numbings.  I really wish I could put the strip here (original date 2/16/03).  I remember when we use to have office numbings when I use to run a large office in the Bronx. 

A numbing for those who don't know is that moment a person's brain numbs to the pain at working at a particular job.  I never had a name for it back then.  I would just try to guide people through it.  I would give them the two choices.  Either just numb up or your gonna kill someone.  In the office it was usually around the 6 month period where nice individuals would become stressed out freaks.  I remember one of my associates fought it the longest.  There he was clutching his head yelling how much it hurt.  Like everyone else he entered that happy state when the stress just squeezes some of your brain out your ear.  It looks like guacamoli.

If you never have seen one have your friends call you.  It's an experience.

One More Day

Well there is only one more day to Valentine's Day.  Since mostly women read this.  That means this is the day if you want to dump that bum you been spending time with.  So to help you here is a form letter.

A Letter To Dump A Guy

Dear ________,

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition.

Check those that apply...

___Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.

___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion.

___The fact that our dining experiences to date has left MY wallet a little lighter and YOUR pants a little tighter!

___Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.

___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.

___Your constant emailing shows me you have TOO much time on your hands!

___Your legs are skinnier than mine.

___You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be beaten up repeatedly at recess.

___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from trying to kiss you.

___You have a hairy back.

___I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.

___The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.

___The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.

___You still live with your parents.

___Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Star Trek uniforms a little
disconcerting.

___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect that you are some sort of psychotic stalker.

___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am seeking in a long term partner.

___Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should, however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your application.

___Somehow I doubt those condoms I found in your overnight bag were really necessary for a successful business trip.

___I am out of your league, set your sights lower next time.

Sincerely, ___________

 

Counters

Well from all my comments I have received I am not the only one having this counter problem.  I was trying to put a counter from another site here, but I encountered some problems.  While figuring out what to do I had time to reflect.  Then it hit me the answer was in my face.  I was using the counter as a gauge to how my journal was doing.  On reflection this is only says that a lot of people are looking not that they are liking what they are reading.  The last few days I have been swamped by all the comments of new people plus all my regulars of how much they like my journal.  There it is.  That is what really tells me how my journal is doing. 

 

On a side not.  A new antenna topper now resides on my car.  Looks just like the old one.  All is good in the world again.

 

Sunday Rant

     AOL

I had to steal this from Jenny over at Heart Whispers.  It was such an awesome pic.  I want to blow it up and put it on my desktop as wallpaper. 

A few days ago I look at horror at my site counter and it was at 1.  My counter was a testament to all the work I do on this journal.  I WAS ROBBED!  I think I may need to go postal on top of the AOL HQ.  My demands I want my count back.  Anyway for now there is no more counter.  To much sorrow to see it back at 1.

AOL

My second pissed off thing is that my antenna topper is gone.  I was walking out of the mall today and I usually use it to pick my car out really fast, but I also really liked it.  So did many other people.  It wasn't expensive, but it is just the thought that it is gone.  In reality I bet the car wash ripped it off Friday so no one has to die on this one.

 

 

Enlivenment

Some people have gone far enough back to find this so I will put this back out there again since many people enjoy it.  I started this to give myself some laughs each day and then I started sharing with my friends.  So now I have a daily email joke ring.  If you would like to receive it just let me know.

Yowzers!

                 

My poor email box. LOL.  It's not use to handling all these emails.  My daily amount just quadrupled with being guest editor.  No complaints.  I am meeting a lot of great people and journals that may never had happened if I hadn't taken the position. 

For all you new people.  I usually have several entries per day so things go by very fast.  I think I average about 3.  So you will have to look through the archives for some true gems.  Some of you have done that already and I had to reread the entry cause I had forgotten it already.  I had myself LMAO a few times.

 

  On my other journal I have gotten a lot of questions on it.  They are all past events.  I will have to make an entry some place to do some more explaining since many questions are the same.

       

Last up for now is that my vertigo is back.  RRRRR.  Got the room spins while treating a patient Friday.  That what usually brings it on.  The change i my head position.  Will have to treat myself tomorrow when I get in the office to get rid of it again.

Divorce

Okay you have to go listen to the new Foamy cartoon.  Even if you go just to hear, "she's not divorced, she's certified pre-f*cked."  This being the comparison for used cars and certified pre owned cars.  So just remember one word "FOAMY".

~ Mike (member of the Cult of Foamy)

The Happiness Pill

                     

Something I struggle with from time to time is happiness.  It is not that I don't get happy, but I rip it away from myself too fast.  I remember about two years ago my friend Steve use to hammer me with that.  How I usually come from a perspective of negativity.  It took me a while to swallow since I am a very hopeful person, but he was correct.  If I don't actively work on it I can put a negative spin on things and take my happiness away from myself. 

On the other side of the coin is that I would like my happiness to last longer than it normally should.  Like a good meal or a funny joke it only last for a certain amount of time.  That meal was good last night, but damn I am hungry today.  I can keep trying to bring Lazarus back from the grave to keep that good feeling going, but all things do end.  I know that like all things I need to keep taking care of myself to have more happiness.  If I keep the ball rolling in the positive direction those good things and happiness with follow.  Just need to keep working on the balance.

Weekend Weather

I really hate it when the weekend weather is bad.  I like to enjoy the great outdoors on the weekend to relax.  However it isn't a blizzard like up north so I have something to be grateful for. 

You can always tell who is a native and who isn't in the area by the snow.  We had a few sun snow flakes the other day.  Something that was very pretty and totally unmeasurable.  The natives went into a panic that there was actually snow.  It's like Chicken Little.  "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"  In the building where I work they have this monster snow blowing machine.  I don't think if you added up our total snow fall for 5 years we would need this machine.

Well I could pack some, but I am just not in the mood.  Maybe tomorrow.  So it is off to the bookstore to find some books to read.  That is the only problem with being a voracious reader is the constant search for things to read.  I also have to admit I am a picky reader which doesn't help.  Well let me get out of here before I have to go to job # 2 tonight.

MUSIC

                                                                          

Well I have the house to myself for a while.  My landlord is away on vacation and my roomies are who the hell knows where.  Haven't seen them in days.  Having the place to myself has reminded me how much I love to BLAST MY MUSIC.  OMG what a feeling.  I was feeling kind of sick when I came home tonight, but I put some tunes on to hear and I feel great.  I don't know if the neighbors are watching me dancing, gyrating, and air guitaring around the place.  If they have I will probably have the door bell ring soon from the nut house.  However I don't care I am having way to much fun.  This will be another thing I will look forward to when I move out at the end of the month.

                            

Fatherhood

Like my Mother use to say, "thank God I had all boys."  Talking to enough of my friends about the women they have dated and friends that have daughters.  I am glad I have a son.  LOL.  If I had a daughter I wonder how I would be.  Hmmmm, I think I would be like this guy.

10 Rules For Dating My Daughter   

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilising a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me aslong as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

 

Vasectomies and Condoms

Once a week a bunch of guys from the area get together and we have our men's support meeting.  We sit around for an hour or two kick up a topic and toss it around.  I enjoy it since it helps to hear other guys having the same problems I am or just a sympathetic ear. 

This week friend Steve couldn't make it because he had a vasectomy that day.  I had to make the obligatory "how they hanging" comment (for you ladies that's in the 5th chapter of How to be a Guy book). 

 

So when I got to the meeting I informed everyone that he wouldn't be there.  I was surprised to hear that most of the guys there had one.  I was very surprised.  On further questioning the response I got was the no more kids statement.  Most of them had 3-4 kids.  For some reason the song "Every Sperm is Sacred" from The Meaning of Life came to my mind.  The inquisitive guy I am had to prod some more.  I knew the answer already, but I am always surprised to hear it.  Yes it was the "hate wearing a condom" statement.  Maybe I am strange (well I know I am), but I never bought into this myth.  Having used and not used condoms over the years I have not noticed a super difference.  Also the balance of having the number of kids you want or the Brady Bunch can help influence the decision.  So I never knew if it just a guy thing in which I just don't buy a lot of the stuff or something I am just not getting.

AOL Guest Editor

                        

 

Hey everyone, newbies and veterans of my journal.  Don’t mind the lights and all the extra people running around.  This week I bring you my journal from the AOL red carpet as a Guest Editor.  I even got a chair with my name on it.  Very cool.  As you can see I always strive for the gold ring. 

 

 

Well let us get started.  As editor I could pick only a few of my favorite journals.  I have a lot as you can see from my side bar.  The list is longer I just got lazy to put anymore on there.  So I invited a few friends over and the first blog is coming up now.  Let us see who it is.

 

 

 

It’s Marina and Losing It.  As you can see she is a spunky girl as she struts down the carpet.  Her journal started as a weight loss journal, but has developed into a mélange of stuff from funny word quizzes (which she addicted me too), entertainment news, and of course her wacky life plus some great tags.  It was one of my first journals that I read regularly.  I enjoyed it immensely then and I still due now.

 

 

 

 

You may be wondering who this lady is with the pool float around her head.  It’s Tina and Ride Along With Me.  (You’ll need to ask her about the float)  The journal is just her life and musings, but she is an intelligent woman and it comes out in her writing.  Like a good book it always draws me in and I enjoy the ride with her.  I think you will too.

 

  

 

Next up is Monica with Living Life and Loving It.  She’s a woman of many working hats.  Her journal is straight forward daily events, but it’s honest and has care free flavor to it that I enjoy.  Reading it is like listening to a friend on the phone and always a fun time. 

 

 

This next one which is wandering around the carpet is Amy and Sugar, Spice, & Everything Nice.  LOL.  Like Amy states she doesn’t know what she is doing and that is what I like about the journal.  I never know what direction it is going in, but it is always fun.  Hopefully her day on the runway will give her a boost to write more.

 

 

Okay everyone you need to expand your minds for this next one.  It’s Rebecca and In the Shadow of Iris my second journal that I read regularly.  Never a light dish to relax with, but something you really need to chew before you swallow.  I always leave musing about what I have read.  Very rarely leave a comment since I need time to digest and by that time I don’t feel like going back.  However it is a good flip side to my other favorites.

 

 

The last person here on my red carpet is Linda with Living with Chronic Pancreatitis.  This is a journal of someone living with a serious chronic disease.  The fun times maybe far apart, but the honesty and pain are real and that comes out in the writing.  Reading it makes mewant to strive for the same in my other journal Crystal Clear Days of Insanity.  Take a look you won’t regret it.

 

 

The biggest question I get is how I named my journal.  Well it’s named after a quote from the old Tick cartoon.  It was a statement he made to his side kick Arthur when he though he was going insane.  I had always loved the line and was happy to finally be able to use it.  It’s just my crazy mind on paper or what ever you would call this medium.  It’s light, fun, and I hope it makes you think every once in a while.

 

 

 

Now about me I’m a 39 year old Chiropractor by day and valet by night.  If you read my journals you will know me better than I could describe myself here.  I hope you will come back and visit me after I get off of the carpet.  I hope you will visit all my other friends on the side of the journal also.  All are very good.  I just couldn’t invite everyone.  Some of the bloggers you have already seen before. 

 

My experience here has been great.  I have met many great people and have made many good friends.  I hope to see you here one day and you get your own chair.  What?  What do you mean I can’t keep the chair?  Oh man, what a jip.

     

 

Where's My Bat

Ah sales people gotta hate them.  It's that time of year again for the phone book people to come harass me for a listing.  They always say if your not interested that is okay, but when I inform them of that they still don't leave.  They want to set up other appointments.  Crap like that.  At least I get to see some ideas on ads.  Never like any of them, but it always points out to me what not to have.  I think the no solicitors sign is coming real soon although a bat has a draw also.  I'll have to see.

Oh yeah.  Stay tuned tomorrow for a special announcement.

In the Court of the Crimson King

Well court this morning was just one big pain after another.  I got there and we weren't listed anywhere.  When I asked the clerk's office they said go over to courtroom B.  So I sit there for till the have a recess and I still haven't been called.  By this time my patient has finally arrived.  I talk to the clerk and she says try next door then go back to the clerks office.  Next door is a strike out.  I run into my patient outside and he wants to be buddies.  I don't think so.  Anyway the clerks can't find it, but will send whatever info to the court room. 

After a while we get up in front of the judge and he wants the levy.  I don't have it since it should be in the missing file.  So we have to wait while the contact the next city's over sheriff's department since they should have it.  Well during the wait my patient finds his copy and we can go forward when court resumes. 

So we get back up in front of the judge again. He ask my patient if he has filed some paperwork which he responds, "no".  Case dismissed. 

So there is no celebration in Mudsville today since if he can get around to it he will refile the injunction.  Meanwhile I need to get more copies of the levy so I can get that going again. 

One thing I did decide while I sat there in court listening to all the cases was that I would file for all the money that is owed me over $100.  I won't go to the extremes that I am now unless I have all the information, but it will be a blotch on their record and will stop them from getting loans until it is paid.  No reason to be a victim.

Well Back to Court

Well tomorrow it's back to court to deal with my patient that owes me money.  Like my friend said easy to get a settlement.  Hard to get the money.  The question put to me was that do I still feel like the bad guy.  The answer is NO.  LOL.  Hey like I always said I need to get hit in the head with a brick before I get something.  So here is my brick.  I don't think he has a leg to stand on, but I need to due everything I can so that when it is over and done with I can say I did everything I could.