Over the last few days I have received many gifts. All very timely. They have been in the form of changing relationships. At points where I have been low.
A woman that I like and we are friendly, but rarely get to communicate, have been able to connect better when I realized we could IM each other. A few kind words to each other a day does wonders for the soul.
I met another woman when I was looking for trouble. Her comments of what a "good person I was' brought me out of my self destructive funk and a bond of friendship was formed.
This last gift comes with a silver lining I think. This woman I have known for a few weeks now and a weird relationship has formed. While good in some areas it is fueling my self destructive nature, but I have been unable to break the cycle. The only thing stopping from making it worse has been her complete unavailability. I commented on this and our future and got a rude awakening. I never got an clear answer of our future, but I believe she wants it over. I am sad. More troubled with her sadness and feelings. However deep in me knows that this relationship while fun will not be a healthy one.
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