Tuesday, November 22, 2005

A Moment of Weakness

I rent a room in a big house with many other single parents.  Little children run amok amongst are coming and goings.  While our landlord makes sure that we are fed and helps out with the kids.  It is a nice situation and I am thankful for the experience.  Recently one of the mothers and her 2 daughters moved out.  We never got to say goodbye to the kids.  I was sad.  My landlord, who I believe was sad, turned to me and said well it was probably for the best since he might of had "a moment of weakness".  Their it was one of the core beliefs of male society.  "Never let them see you sweat" has been my mantra for most of my life.  You believe this paradigm will make you a man, but all it does is isolate you form yourself and the world around you.  I looked at my landlord and saw so many of the things I try to avoid my son believing.  All the things I read and do to prevent this.  However in my moments of fantasy I picture myself as that independent and strong male hero (whatever that means?) fighting off the evils of the world.  All to make me more desirable.  Maybe thousands of years ago it worked for Ogg the caveman when he clobbered a Saber tooth tiger brought it back to the cave and the cave woman swooned, but in today's world I think it is outdated.  However the belief is still their.  It has been in everything I have read, watched, and heard as a child to an adult.  Most people are very appreciative of my emotional expressiveness for a guy.  However that food pellet isn't enough of a reward to change what has been soaked down into my DNA.  Men aren't suppose to have a moment of weakness.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

... and isn't this such a shame.  I've never understood that whole concept of the 'macho' male.  And yet, I sympathize with how difficult it must be for men to fight years of conditioning from society, etc.  For me, I have always been attracted to men who can show their emotions.  But I also have a soft spot for those men who are trying so hard to fight against the inclination to 'hold it all inside.'  It takes a long time, and alot of work to overcome this one.  I know, because even as a female, I was taught that this was the way I was supposed to be.  I'm glad I finally figured it out !   Tina http://journals.aol.com/onemoretina/Ridealongwithme

Anonymous said...

I've met a few men that arent afraid to show emption
and I love those men the best. Hugs, marina

Anonymous said...

I love seeing a man`s vulnerable side now and then. The odd irony of it is that I think men who are able to show this side are actually stronger than those who never do.
~Penny

Anonymous said...

Who says?!?!?!

Niki*