End of an Era & Date #4

Well I got to work tonight and one of the security guards asked did Terry (my partner) call me.  I'm thinking okay who died now?  Turns out the Board of Directors shut the Harbor Club down today. Just like that.  It was really weird.  So I went upstairs to drop my stuff of.  It was hard to see Nina and Tracy who I've known for 2 1/2 years all puffy and red eyed from crying.  For everyone except me and Terry the club is their primary job so I knew it must really suck for them.  No warning, nothing!  I said my goodbyes to everyone and I see I have picked up some of my brother's humor when in trying situations.  I hate goodbyes.  To the place, the staff, and the hundred or so people in the building I see so often.  Sad to have it all ripped away like that.  There is some fear about the loss of income.  It was a nice cushion and help me stay financial stable.  As it stays now I'll just keep the office open an hour later at night and see if I can get one new patient a week which should balance out the loss of the PT job. 

Since I had my date with April tonight at 8 I called and asked if she wanted to get together sooner.  She said she had already made plans with her friend until 8.  It was no problem and a part of me was happy that she wouldn't toss away her life for me.  So I had to occupy myself for 2 hours which wasn't too bad, but being in a sad mood didn't help.

We went out for Italian tonight and it was good.  Although it took me a while to get going.  If I could have seen April another night this week I probably would have rescheduled, since I couldn't I wasn't on my best game.  April seemed to like the shot glass I got her from NY.  Not the most romantic gift, but it was something I knew she collected.  Once I was able to be more myself the evening went better.  The one thing I am getting a little bored with is just going out for dinner.  I'm not a big food event person.  Food is usually secondary or more like tertiary to any event for me.  However with us going out late their is not much to do in the winter here.  Since I don't see her that often I don't want to spend the time in a movie theater.  So I am kind of at a loss.

The evening ended nicely, but it was a short time and I was left wanting more.  I'm starting to get into uncharted waters with April.  She's the first person I've gone out with that I'm not ga-ga over.  I do really like her, but that you light up my life feeling isn't there.  I've had it in my other long term relationships and they ended badly.  My therapist had also warned me about them.  So I am feeling like I am making a conscious choice what the next step will be instead of being swept along which is good.  Except I'm not quite sure where I want to put my foot and that's a first.  So some thinking needs to be done.  I doubt I will see her Saturday night and then she is away with a friend in Baltimore for a few days so I probably won't see her till next Friday.  :P