My partner called tonight to go over the next weeks schedule on who is working. He told me the accountant wanted to speak to me. As usual I go into fear mode. Can't be good news. Usually it is total crap, but I guess I still like to freak myself out to know I am still alive and kicking.
Eric seems very excited to get together this weekend. So much he was like he was like I have to go to bathroom RIGHT now. LOL. He broke into fear about learning to swim this weekend. So we will see. Hopefully I can help him get through it. I know he is really looking forward for me to show him stuff on the skateboard. Jeez it's probably been about 30 years, but he is still learning the basics. I have to admit I am actually looking forward to it all. I usually have a sense of fear with it. I guess I got trained the first few times since they were all court related in my attempts to prove my innocence with my wife's accusations. Car breakdowns and the such. So I do have a track history of crap coming up. So I am happy to be slowly dropping it like the bad habit it is.
Working on today my bizarre fear of letting women know I like them. Know clue where it comes from, but I know it comes from a place of less than. It's avoidance. To protect myself from rejection I don't put myself in the game. Childish protection system that also keeps me apart from a lot of people. So with awareness hopefully comes freedom from the defect.
4 comments:
Mike...you aren't the only one that feels that way. I could have written that 3rd paragraph!
Hugs
Jackie
Mike...you aren't the only one that feels that way. I could have written that 3rd paragraph!
Hugs
Jackie
So glad I am not a guy....women face so much less rejection since the "asking out" card comes from you guys first.....but Mike your a good looking guy with loads or charm and brains....go chant in the mirror..lol...You have many gifts....those gals are lucky to be in your company...-Raven
It takes us all time to get over problems like divorce. You are using the mechanisms necessary to keep from being hurt again until you are healed. It will eventually go away Especially since you are bright enough to recognize what it is. Keep the faith you will be fine. Retgards, Bill.
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