Well I got the ole double punch tonight. Both of which I was expecting.
The first was sadness which really surprised me. The first woman I went out with after 16 years was this lady named M. She was very attractive and we had a great time. She didn't want to go out again which was okay with me. I didn't like that she just wouldn't say so. There were other things. Anyway I see her often when I do her valet and we talk. So tonight I see her walk out with this guy and she is giving him the "look". I really got sad. Surprised the hell out of me. I don't dream about us being together or anything. I guess she has a special place inside me since she was like my very first date of this new life.
The second has been anger. The first with my brother who keeps asking me to take more phone calls from our Mom during the day since it interferes with his work. I love my family. My stuff is still on the bottom of the pile of importance. I get the same 6-7 phone calls when I'm with patients. A friend said it best. "Tell him to suck it up." LOL.
The other was with my Mom who had the insane idea of us sharing and apartment together. Tried to explain to her that it didn't fix the problem of her being alone since I work two jobs and am never home. She then got angry that nothing was being done. I knew she was just frustrated. However I've had enough years of verbal, emotional, and physical abuse from these people. Accept what I give or fuck off. I've cut everyone off in my family because of this crap. My Mom hangs on by a thread since she is my Mom and I don't seem to be able to cut the rope.
10 comments:
oh too bad for that Ms. *M* woman...it's her loss. Don't be sad..if it's meant for you..she'll be back... if not, there'll be a way better one.
Gem~
It can be very surprising when you aren't expecting to get the reaction/feelings you did when you saw 'M' ~ it kind of catches you off guard and then the feelings stick around longer than you want them to. Hope your smiling now!! :)
Hang in there with all the mom stuff...it's sounds like it will be tough for you for a while. Either hang in there or Breathe real deep and count to 10!
Michele
http://journals.aol.com/SamNsmile5/LettingItAllSinkIn
Ms M lost a good guy don't fret about her too much
Sorry your family is giving you such a hard time don't be to hard on mom
Big Hug, Marina
remember what I tell you all the time: it is HER loss and NOT yours! someone else is out there for you; you just haven't found each other yet. and it will happen when you least expect it....and it WILL happen.
As for your Mom...your Mom is your Mom no matter what; you are doing the best you can and I am sure she appreciates it; sometimes Moms do have a funny way of showing their appreciation though.
Maria
I know the pain but when you least expect it, the ONE will walk into your life. You are a very caring and compassionate man and good looking....there are a bunch of women out there wanting someone just like that.
I dont blame you for cutting your family off before. You have to put yourself FIRST. I know how hard it is to say no.
lisa jo
family can be rough...they are usually people who would never choose to be around...yet we have those family ties that tell us we have to take all their crap....just do what you are comfortable living with.
Tracie
oh geesh, sometimes family just sucks. Well you know Mike you have to do what makes you happy. Your an adult and really your doing your best. It would not really be a good idea if mom came to live with you. You know that. Just hang in there.
It amazes me sometimes how close to the surface some emotions really are!
Good luck with the family stuff.
Penny
http://journals.aol.com/pennietoonz/PennysPlace
You've got it in perspective, hon. The circle starts at you and goes outward from there. Remind your brother that you are a professional too...the bastid. ;) C. http://journals.aol.com/gdireneoe/thedailies
Mike, I know from what you speak, when you talk about families, and the abuse you have had to take through the years. While mine, in no way compares to yours, is was still a bit abusive, and you find you carry those feeling with you through the years, and darned if they don't pop out at the most inopportune moments.
Hang in there, Mike.. and stay strong...
Hugs,
Jackie
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