"If you get into a knife fight be prepared to get cut."
Over the last week I have talked to several people on fears of getting back into relationships after really bad ones. My friends are usually surprised that I would want to get married again. They knew how bad my marriage was and how I suffered.
I know what a relationship can do. A great person can help heal you of your childhood wounds as no one else can. I remember a women (B) I dated last year. I'm not quite sure if you read my other journal about how I was made to vomit as a child. Anyway it has left me never eating everything on my plate. B would make sure I always had a little extra to leave behind. Such a simple gesture, but it was world altering for me. However on the other side of the coin that person has the ability to rip those same wounds wider open and make a few new ones. It's all a risk, but I think the benefits out way the risk.
6 comments:
Mike: I am glad you are not going to let the past get in the way of your future. It is so hard when someone breaks your heart or betrays you. I know; I have been there myself. Trusting someone again after someone else has smashed your heart into a million pieces is a really hard thing to do.
but we all have to: b/c we just never know what the future holds.
hope you are having a great weekend!
=)
Maria
Hi Mike !!!!!!! I too would like to meet someone but I just haven't as yet. I think it would be nice to meet someone and perhaps the person will be that someone that I grow old with I just don't know. I think your a pretty nice guy I'm sure someone will come along in no time. I think your right that the benefits out way the risk.
Anyway....its nice to read your journal. I'm glad your at J-Land. Tell your son hello for me and my family here in Georgia how old is he by the way ? I'm sure he is pretty great. Well I will visit again soon. Take care.
Hmmm...... After my last relationship with Dan, ended in his death, I think I am quite happy to be alone. But, that's me. Most people desire the company of the opposite sex (or same sex, if you're of that persuasion), but I prefer my own company.
I hope you, Mike, find who it is you are looking for... It will never be perfect, because no relationship is, but you are a handsome guy, and I think once you are really ready.. you'll find her! :)
Jackie
Mike:
I have been pondering this myself. As you know, I had tried the dating thing for awhile. It started out as a nice little experiment. Just to see how I was, in social situations, after having been out of the social scene for awhile. Awhile? Eleven years. Understatement.
The experiment ended in my decision that I am simply not ready. I did learn some things, I learned that I am a hell of a lot pickier than I thought, regarding men that I would want to share my time with. There were actually dates where I would drift off in the middle of them.....wishing I was home. NOT a good sign. The new experiment is to embark on a game plan of my own.....where I do things to become more comfortable with ME, before I even try to adjust my comfort level with others. Loneliness does abound occasionally, where I really wonder if I'm ever going to find someone to share my life with. I did come to terms with that, and decided that I would much rather have brief bouts of loneliness while I'm on this journey to my healthy sense of self....rather than make bad decisions out of loneliness. Been there, done that, bought the T shirt.
It ain't easy, that's for sure, and my knife fights have left several indelible marks. However. Instead of seeing them as scars(such an ugly word), I see them now as badges. Proof that no matter what happens, I can and will handle it and see it through, and totally kick ass on whoever attempts to cut me from now on. (I don't think I need to add that I am totally speaking in metaphors. I'm not out on some literal warpath here....er....I'm nice. Honest.)
:) As I've said before, you rock. And I mean it.
T
Interesting how much "little" gestures can mean sometimes:) I'm glad B was there to show you that. I would rather have the memory of great moments with someone than not have them, would rather risk that "higher love" (aka Steve Winwood). To not allow for it certainly means not obtaining it. I'm comfortable being single, without desperation for finding "someone." And, I'm still careful about it. But, I do so agree that it can really be worth it:) -- Robin
http://journals.aol.com/ceilisundancer/RandomThreads/
I do think once you find the right person marriage can be great.
Post a Comment