The Art of Valet

I do valet at night to help make ends meet.  It's a lot of fun and the besides Christmas time it is an easy job.  In my 1 1/2 years I have learned some wisdom of the whole system in which I would like to share with you.

The amount you pay usually doesn't go to the person parking your car.  It only cover parking your car.  It does cost extra for the following:

1.  Not to change your seat position

2.  Not to reset ALL your radio presets

3.  Not to joyride in the car

4.  Not to make copies of the 20 other keys on your key chain.

5.  To lock and close all your windows.

6.  Not to damage the car.

7.  To be even the slightest bit careful with your car.

8.  Not to fart in your car.

9.  To park it in the one spot in the garage that doesn't have another car in 100 ft.

On tipping.  Yes it is customary as well as necessary.  If you don't want to tip that is okay just go park it yourself.  Here is the spectrum of tippers.

1.  The Behind the Back Sneak - it like two spies handing off microfilm.  By the time you have unballed the dollar bill the guy is already home asleep.

2.  The Compliments Guy - He's got a hundred compliments for you.  No tip just compliments.  Hey pal say thank you with MONEY. 

3.  The Pretty Face - Here is the woman who is or thinks she is pretty and that is enough of a tip for you. 

4.  Stuck in the 50's - This guy will walk right up to you with a brand new dollar bill and hand it to you like it is a $20.  Hey!  It's a new millennium I can't even by a soda out of the machine for a $1.

5.  Spare change group - the grouped together looking through ever inch of pocket looking for money.  There was no fore thought that "hey we used valet we should tip this guy."  Thanks for the .18 cents.  Yeah I know you really feel bad.  You should.

I hope this information will help you in your interaction with valets in the future.  And as always tip well, tip a lot.