Well Eric called me later to tell me what he wanted. To be completely honest, besides saying that he wanted to keep it this week I didn't get much. I think he stated that he would be too upset to enjoy something if we got together for that weekend. It was very jumbled like it is when it is scripted. I told him I would have liked to be there, but I was okay with his decision. He cried some and left the phone.
The first thing that hit me when he got off the phone was an old disagreement that my ex and I had. She had this story (real) of this kid who didn't want a dog cause he knew it would die and didn't want to go through the pain. She was always liking it and thought it was positive because the kid knew what to do to avoid pain. I always disagreed and thought it was negative since the pain is part of life. To avoid it means missing out on a WHOLE lot.
I'm a little sad that I won't be able to be at Eric's baptism. I think I have voiced this concern before that I worry more about Eric's avoidance of problems than finding positive ways to deal with them.
3 comments:
Here's alittle throw back from my previous career, perhaps it's advice, maybe it's just something to chew around in one's mind, but here goes anyway. Sometimes, parents make or give children the power of choices and decisions, that should not be the childs choice to make. Especially at such a young age.
That choice, was one filled with guilt, apprehension and a childs mentality knows all about hurt feelings at such a stage in life, and it's only amplified in a divorce situation. Meaning, he now carries the burden of a choice, that really shouldn't have been his to make. Make sense? Think about it, for those future choices, chances and decisions............Point that out to the old X Lady, she could have easily avoided putting Eric into that entire situation, easily........
Rebecca
It is sad that you won't be there. I'm very sorry.
That favorite story of your Ex reminded me of my childhood. My mother looked at things in much the same way. I can't say as I blame my mom, because she did have a very messed up childhood, but the lesson I learned growing up, is that it is better not to try something that you aren't positive you will be successful at, because you might fail, and then how would you feel? Not a lesson I wanted my kids to learn. Tina
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