Got a double shot of sadness today. Were I live there are other single parents with kids. It makes a nice living setting. So when I was leaving today one of the little boys came running up and jumped in my arms to say goodbye. It was nice to give him a hug. It reminded me of how it was to have my son around daily. It reminded me how much I miss him.
The second shot was a surprising one. I called my Mom for our weekly call and she informed me that my Dad had had a stroke (they have been divorced for 38 years). He was doing okay. I was really surprised how sad I felt and how much the information affected me. We were never close. I was scarred of him for my childhood and we haven't had contact in about 15 years.
I don't like being sad or crying, but they are just feelings. So it is always a workout for me to just feel them and not do anything about them. So I am sharing them all day today.
6 comments:
If i was there, i would hug you. Hell, right now, i could use one too. I am truly sorry about your dad, Mike. I hope he recovers. I would love to hear why there is no contact sometime. Sorry that the little boy is moving....
I hope after sitting and working thru your feelings i hope that you have found acceptance or peace.
Thanks for commenting in my journal. Means a lot to me.
lisa jo
I can understand how painful it must be missing your son; and then all the way to the other end of the emotional spectrum, and the little boy within you, missing your Dad - An upsetting circle of feelings for sure.
Wishing you happiness this Christmas.
Tilly x
http://journals.aol.co.uk/tillysweetchops/Adventuresofadesperatelyfathouse/
so sorry these sad emotions are effecting you, I wish I could do more than just listen.
Missy
I wasn't close with my Dad either and I was scared of him during childhood and he was messed up. When he was dying I went to see him and although I hadn't seen him in five years prior...my heart broke to see him so ill. So I can relate to this.
I'm not close with my Dad either, but if I got this news I don't know how I would react, probably the same as you. Even though you aren't close I am sorry to hear this and hope he is doing better. I always fear there won't be enough time to make things right with my Dad. Perhaps you and your's will get that chance.
~ Jenny
ps. Even the strongest of men cry, sometimes you just need to get it out. It's nice to know not ALL men hide their feelings. It takes strength and courage to show you are hurting.
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