Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Bittersweet

I've had a low level sorrow following me around since I picked up Eric Friday.  The feelings that I pushed down over the years of separation are bubbling up.  Nothing strong, but it a level of discomfort that is bothering me.  I hate emotional pain and discomfort.  I made it a lifestyle of avoiding it growing up and I'm still not a fan of it now.  I find it needling me everyday now.  So I know I am not talking about it enough.  I have no regrets about how things have turned out, but the sad fact is that I miss my son and am missing him grow up.  They are just feelings and I just need to feel them to get through them.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

{{{{MIKE}}}}    Yeah, it happens.  It's normal.  Well, hte feelings are.  I don't know that it's actual normal to be separated from ones child, and vice versa, for so long, and that SUCKS.    But, he knows you love him, he knows you have not abandoned him, and all those important things:)

Anonymous said...

I am sorry Mike.

Terra

Anonymous said...

{{{Mike}}}   It's tough.. I know.  At least you love your son, and want to spend time with him.  Maybe you can't do it as much as you would like, but it's in your heart.. and, trust me, he knows and feels it.  My twin's father could have cared less about them.  Once he divorced me.. he divorced them too.  His choice.  It torments my daughter to this day.

You're a good dad, Mike.. don't ever forget that!!

Hugs
jackie

Anonymous said...

i am sorry for your pain.. i can feel it through your words...
Lyn