Note to readers: If you didn't read my last entry don't read this first.
Like I stated last week I knew it would hurt if L and I broke up and it does. I was very grateful to my friend Gina who offered to me to join her while she picked up b-day presents for her hubby then go to the Caribean Festival down on the beach. It got me out and not mope around. It was fun and we saw some great steel drum bands. It also helped get me out of my initial I just want to find someone else not to feel the pain mode. I knew that would be the most stupidest thing I could do, but the feeling was strong.
So I dropped Gina off with her hubby to celebrate and I headed over to the bookstore to kill time. I had an amazing find there. A Blood Sword graphic novel contining the stories I had read about 15 years ago. I never thought to see this on the market. The price tag was a little steep, but I figured I'd treat myself since of what happened. By then I was hungry so I grabbed some Chinese food for dinner. Sitting there with nothing to occupy my mind is when it really hit me again. I could feel the depression settle on me. It killed my appetite pretty fast. One thing remains on my mind from the relationship. For all the things L talked about with me I am surprised she couldn't say this to me and had to email. Just weird. I will miss saying I have a girlfriend and having pictures on my dresser.
3 comments:
Mike, I am genuinely feeling sad for you. I know how much you cared for L.. and that you have even said the "L" word to her, and never expected her to say it back. I know you will be okay, eventually, but damnit, it still hurts. I wish I could take your pain away.. :/
As for finding someone to replace her right away. Not a good idea. You need to experience the pain this has caused you.. deal with it.. and then move on.. slowly.
Hang in there buddy... the right girl is out there somewhere.. and you will find her!
Hugs
Jackie
http://journals.aol.com/siennastarr/Hopefloats/
Hi Mike
I am sorry to hear that you and L broke up. I am sure that a great guy like yourself will find someone that truly cares about you as much as you care about them. I have found from your journal that your a really terrific guy with a great sense of humor. L didn't know what she had in a great guy. Don't worry Mike I'm sure the right one will come along for you. Don't forget I'm rooting for you.
I think that it was nice of Gina to offer you that invitation. She sounds like a really nice friend. Going to a bookstore sounded nice. Do keep your spirits up your a pretty amazing person with a lot to offer. So do hang in there.
I think it's only normal to go through this phase of depression after what just had happened between you and L. It's not your fault, if she's the one that pulled away, then the problem is on her, not you, because if you're the one having problems with her, you're the one who'll pull away, but you didn't.
Since she just emailed you, sounds like she didn't have the courage and courtesy to face you.
Things happens for a reason. Hang in there, a better one will come along.
Smile today,
gem :-)
Post a Comment