Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Minimizing
Well I thank Sharon for informing me of the stage that I missed "bargaining". It helped label how I was feeling this morning. The "why's". I really wasn't looking for an answer, but the crap was flying around the back of my brain. Since my dear John letter I have been waking up in the middle of the night. Gratefully I fall back to sleep, but I know their must be more than I'm admitting. I'm a minimizer. I do miss L. I miss having a girlfriend and having someone to dote on. The warmth of someone next to me while I sleep. Someone to look forward to seeing. As always I'm not the superman I think I am and that this stuff does affect me more than I would like. However like most things if I feel it it will pass sooner and more smoothly.
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3 comments:
Of course. And, you'll go through it and get there in your own way, too. Yeah, I'd be asking "why," also. Once in particular for me, finally having to accept that I may not know why. A year or so later, I DID know, but he wasn't ready to admit those reasons to himself even at that time. I'm sorry you're waking up at night, too. Of course this is bothersome, and it'd have been "cleaner" if she'd just talked with you. One day at a time.
You two shared a lot in a very short period of time. She more or less led you to believe that she cared nearly as much as you did, even though she never said the "L" word, and you did. I think the way she handled "the breakup" with you was chicken shit, Mike. You are right on track when you say you don't see that as a trait you would want in a prospective partner.
I know this hurts you. It has too. You said you loved her, and if you did, then you can't possibly be walking around not feeling the stab of the knife she plunged in your back when she left you that email. I hate to sound brutal, but that's what she did.
Hugs
Jackie
Hi Mike !!!!!!!!
I have to say from your journal I have found you to be a very interesting, funny and charming guy. I am sure you will find a girlfriend in no time. The women in your neighborhood don't know a good thing when they see it. I only wish I could meet a guy like you. I am still very single myself as you might know. L sure didn't know what she had when she had it. I think that L. must have been a little nuts to not see what was right in front of her. Don't worry a guy like yourself will find someone in no time. I am rooting for you !!!!!!
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