Really grateful for yoga this morning to get some quiet time. Stop the brain. Also I let Tara know on the side that she had a hole in her pants. She said she knew already.
Tossing my Mom's stuff on me today is overloading me. I can feel it. The stress. All of it is of my own doing. This is where having power of attorney sucks. I'm the one that has to do a lot of the work. House selling sucks.
The biggest thing on my plate today is fear. It is fear of success. Sounds funny doesn't it, but it was powerful last night. The small fears of asking for help are there. However it is like my old therapist said. When good things start happening you end up looking at yourself. The lie is seen for what it is. What has stopped me in the past has been me. It is easier when crap is happening to pick some fault or excuse. However when good stuff is happening why didn't it happen sooner? So I find myself struggling today. Do I walk through the door of change to a new different world or stay where I am where I am comfortable. I know what will happen if I stay. I have the awareness now. My eyes have been open and I can't be content where I am, but it doesn't ease the fear of stepping through the door and doing what needs to be done.
6 comments:
You Can Do This. Concentrate on what needs to be done. Keep busy,
fear will not have a place in your thoughts.
"Knowing is not enough; we must apply.
Willing is not enough; we must do. . . "
-Johann Wolfgang Van Goethe
Strength is a matter of a made up mind.
-John Beecher
Change can be a good thing. At the age of 40, I packed up what I could fit into my car and my daughter and I moved out of state and started a new life. Wasn`t easy, but definitely worth it! If youy can`t be content where you are, then it doesn`t make sense for you to stay there now, Mike.
Hugs,
Penny
http://journals.aol.com/pennietoonz/PennysPlace
Anything worthwhile is worth the effort. You get out what you put into it.
Familiarity is comfortable....the unknown is scarry. Hard work + Heart = Success.
Ok, Ok...I will stop now! But you have the insight, the determination, the tools to make it happen....the only thing that can stop you is YOU! :) Don't let fear win. You can do it, Mike!! Full steam ahead!!!!
Cathie
just take one day at a time. Change I know is so hard.
I wish I was at that point, Mike...
I'm cheering you forward, my friend! But.. just remember it will happen when it's supposed to, just be ready for it when it does!
Hugs,
Jackie
Very introspective entry, hon. Two things...first, one of the things I am teaching my children is that there is nothing wrong with fear...as long as one is working on it. Second (and this was actually learned from my dad), most people aren't afraid to try in life...they're afraid of the success...where does one go from there?...but down. It's the maintenance of the achievement...not the getting there. ;) C. http://journals.aol.com/gdireneoe/thedailies
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