Deep Thoughts

Well I'm bored during my lunch so here are some deep thoughts to contemplate.

Deep Thoughts

If I played a blank tape at full blast. Would the mime next door go nuts?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? 

I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, 'The whole time.' 

So what's the speed of dark? 

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water? 

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food? 

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in? 

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics? 

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? 

Isn't Disney World a people-trap operated by a mouse? 

How come 'abbreviated' is such a long word? 

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? 

Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead? 

Why are they called buildings when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts? 

Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together? 

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it? 

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? 

Do fish get cramps after eating? 

Why are there five syllables in the word 'monosyllabic'? 

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? 

Why is it that when a door is open, it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door? 

Why is it fake lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients, but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons? 

Why do we wash bath towels?  Aren't we clean when we use them.

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase? 

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? 

Do Roman paramedics refer to IVs its '4s'? 

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious? 

Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent? 

Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate? 

Do married people live longer than single people do, or does it just SEEM longer? 

I went to a book store and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose. 

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working? 

As some one once said, "a mind is a terrible thing."