True Friends

Well I was talking to a friend over the weekend and was telling them all about some of the more intense parts of my life.  I was asked if I had a support system since they knew my family wasn't much help except for my Mom who is nuts, but generally okay.  I said that I had my friends and they had helped me through it all.  So in honor of my friends and all friends out there I have this.

True Friends Oath

Are you tired of all those sissy, mushy "friendship" poems that always sound good but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship!

When you are sad ... I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the SOB who made you sad.

When you are blue ... I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile ... I'll know you finally had sex.

When you are scared ... I will rag you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried ... I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.

When you are confused ... I will use little words to explain.

When you are sick ..... stay away from me until you're well again. I don't want whatever you have.

When you fall ... I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

Send this to eight of your closest friends and get depressed because you can only think of two, and one of them is not speaking to you right now anyway.

Remember: A friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body.