Since I see that my readership is all women. Here is some information that may help you. Then again it may only cause trouble. LOL.
Guide to Driving Men Crazy
1. Do not say what you mean. Ever.
2. Be ambiguous. Always.
3. Cry. Cry often. Tell them it's their fault.
4. Bring things up that were said, done, or thought years, months, or decades ago...
5. Make them apologize for everything.
6. Stash feminine products in their backpacks and in their books as cute reminders that you were thinking of them.
7. Cry
8. Play Alanis Morissette's 'You Oughta Know,' loud. Look at them. Smile.
9. Look them in the eye and start laughing.
10. Cry.
11. Get mad at them for everything.
12. Discuss your period in front of them. Watch them squirm.
13. Hold grudges.
14. Demand to be e-mailed. Often. Whine when they don't comply..
15. When complimented, make sure to be paranoid. Take nothing at face value.
16. Use daddy as a weapon. Tell them about his gun collection, his quick trigger finger, and his affection for his 'little princess.'
17. Be late for everything. Yell if they're late.
18. Talk about your ex-boyfriend. Compare and contrast.
19. Go everywhere in groups, especially the bathroom. Do nothing alone. Independence is a sign of weakness.
20. Cry.
21. Make them guess what you want and then get mad when they're wrong.
22. Plan little relationship anniversaries, i.e. the monthly anniversary of the time you saw each other in the five minutes. Then get mad at them for forgetting. Then cry.
23. Gather many female friends and dance to 'I Will Survive' while they are present. Sing all the words. Sing to them. Sing loud.
24. Correct their grammar.
25. Constantly claim you're fat. Ask them. Then cry, regardless of their answer.
26. Leave out the good parts in stories.
27. Make them wonder. Confusion is a good thing.
28. Declare that you are not wacko.
29. Criticize the way they dress.
30. Criticize the music they listen to.
31. Criticize their hair.
32. Ignore them. When asked, 'What's wrong?' tell them that if they don't know, you're not going to tell them.
33. Try to change them.
34. Try to mold them.
35. Try to get them to dance.
36. Pretend you're interested, lead them on, then feign ignorance when confronted
37. When they screw up, never let them forget it.
38. Make them stay at religious services until they are close to fainting.
39. Blame everything on PMS.
40. Blame everything on PMS only after it has been blamed on them.
41. Whenever there is silence ask them, 'What are you thinking?
42. Get mad if they don't notice a haircut. Even if it's only a half inch
43. Read into everything.
44. Cry.
45. Make it your goal to make them cry.
Now I know none of you women out there know anything about this stuff and this was the first time you even heard of it. You would never subject the man in your life to this insane torture. Yeah right.
5 comments:
Just started reading your journal, not sure what I think yet. Sound a bit bitter though.
http://journals.aol.com/blueblueandblew/BluesLifeOrNot
Listen I'm on the rag and you are making me cry here!!!!
ROFLMAO Don't hate us cause we're always right.
Hugs, Marina
As a woman, my pet peeve is women who turn on the tears to get their way. Personally, I don't get it. If I am angry with my man, the last thing I want him to think is that he can bring me to tears. If most men paid attention, they could tell the difference between genuine tears, and being manipulated. If it's manipulation, simply hand her a kleenex and tell her that when the tears are over, you can resume the conversation. She might get mad, but it usually does the trick. Tina
ROFLMAO... Cry? Hehe.. that don't work and when i am mad, I don't cry, Ijust blurt shit out that don't even make sense and my husband goes.. wtf are u talking about? LOL.. Yea.. we used to do that past tense crap too, don't get ya anywhere but more arguements and hurtful thoughts =(
Your too funny
Love,
Theresa
When I saw the line about Alanis and "You Oughta Know" I went and grabbed the CD then finished reading LOL. Some women take the whole "crying" thing way too far. I would never try and change a man unless he says "I can't dance" which a lot of men do say. I atleast ask them to try because I love it so much. If you have to "change" someone to be with them, then the relationship is over even before it begins.
~ Jenny
ps. I'm guilty of a few but not many
Post a Comment