Saturday, January 7, 2006

Ouch! Tagged Again

Hey I must be slowing down.  Mis tagged me again.  I'm starting to get sore.  I would also like to go on the record that Mis tagged before she told us her stories.  Shame on you Missy.  Anyhoo this Tag you'll have to write 5 funny stories. If you'd like, you can share embarrassing moments its all up to you. By funny stories I mean anything you have heard from a friend or something that has happened within your family that was funny. Keep note that it can be from years ago.

Okay so I need to come up with 5 funny stories.  Hmmm.  Well I use to run a large medical facility in the South Bronx for many years more of an insane asylum if you ask me.  Here are some stories of life there:

1)  Dr. Pain as he became to be known use to do EMG's in our office which are nerve test in which you shock and stick the patients with needles. Sound fun already?  Well his office was right next to mine and he's performing this test one day on this patient and the patient is screaming in pain.  It sounds like the last days of the inquisition.  Then he says his famous line.  "Crying is not going to make it any better."

2)  We use to have the HIV positive patient known as Kim the bleeder.  Kim was great.  At any minute she would announce to the world "Ooop I'm bleeding."  or "I think a blood blister just popped." Just what you would want a spontaneous HIV positive bleeder.

3)  Doc we have a problem.  What's the problem?  We have a patient that wants treatment.  And the problem would be?  Just take a look doc."  So I go take a look and this guys is bleeding from his head. I ask, "what happened?  I got jumped and was hit in the head with a bat.  Well you should go to the ER.  But I'm here for my treatment.  Go to the hospital first."

Next day he's in the waiting room covered in dried blood.  Straight from the ER for treatment.  God you got to love good patients.

4)  My office use to have big bay windows on the busy street. One day I had my shades open to let the sun in.  I'm on the phone when this bum walks right into the window.  He's gesturing like he wants to come in.  So I motion him towards the entrance of the office.  Next thing I know he stumbles into my office (got to love the morons at my front desk) and says "Give me some money!" Okay so I am thinking I might be dead here.  So I toss him some pocket change.  He gripes about that being it and curses me out as he walks out of the office.

5)  As we all know radiation is not a good thing.  I had this really hyper kid once that I needed and x-ray on him.  Took me forever to set him up and try to get him not to move for 10-15 seconds.  So I think I got it. The machine is revving up to take the shot and in that moment.  The kid put his eye right up to the machine and looks directly inside.  Oh well great x-ray of the kids head.

They may not be funny to you all, but they still make me LMAO.  Okay let me see who I tag this time.  I tag:

Linda

Tina

Monica

Terra

Jenny

 

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL!!
well...we all could use a good laugh every now and then....and #3 did it for me!
LOL!!
Gem :-D

Anonymous said...

I bet you have atleast 20 of these stories, too funny!!
I will play along and also do the one from a few days ago, just a little behind : )
~ Jenny

Anonymous said...

Hey, Mister, I already did it!  I don't think I can come up with anymore! Your #4 story really made me laugh!  They were all pretty good though!  I hope you are enjoying the weekend...
Hugs, Linda

Anonymous said...

ok I can take a hint, lol, I wont tag you anymore, it's def. not worth getting dissed over,  but anyway the stories are done now

Anonymous said...

Okay I'll give you the story about that bum that made me laugh and the one about kid was too cute. Hugs, Marina