Taking Things Too Personally

Well I have been working on collecting a large amount from a patient of mine for over a year now.  I've done all the legal work myself.  Filed, court appearances, etc.  Now with every last resource used I am at the stage of a levy on him.  Still don't totally like it, but I know I have given this guy more than enough chances to do something.  Anyway everything is a go except I need to get a bond for the sales to happen.  Talking to the bonding company and I was informed that they wouldn't bond me with out a lawyer.  I am already paying the sheriff's department 25% of the total collections.  Now I need to give a lawyer at this stage of the game money?  Give me a break!  I am pretty pissed.  I know I am taking this way to personal.  Feel like all my hard work has been for nothing.  However I know I only own my power with the leg work and I can't control the outcome.  (Grinning and bearing it.)  So I am trying to look for the lesson in all this while I try to find a lawyer that I can keep on retainer cheap.  Hey I think that is a oxymoron.