"When God shuts a door, he opens a window."
~ Anonymous
When a major event occurs in my life, I sometime have difficulty accepting them. Even though at some point it may end up improving my lot in life. Today is one of those days. Again their is a mistake with my Medicare payment. Again I need to talk to them and find out what is wrong this time. This will be my 3-4th call to find out what is wrong. Each time they say it is this and that's it. Next time oh their is another mistake. @#%$#%#!!!! I need it to pay bills. So I find myself short rent this month. I need to ask for help and I hate doing that. Makes me realize I am not living up to that image in my head (see last entry). I don't like that, but I am also not perfect nor a failure. A hard pill to swallow. So do I borrow some money for 2 weeks or just talk to my landlord. I hate this crap! Well I'll try to borrow first then if that doesn't work I will talk to my landlord. The biggest thing is really to be gentle with myself. I know I can pound myself into the dumps really fast and that doesn't help anything.
3 comments:
You are right - DON'T be too hard on yourself. It is an easy trap to fall into, but sooo hard to dig out of. Just from reading your journals the last few days, I think you are great!
Don't beat yourself up for this, you are no failure. It's takes a lot to ask for help, and most times you will see when you ask for it somehow it is provided. Don't let the voice that tears you down win.
~ Jenny
Hey dude, don't be so hard on yourself! I know! I know! That is a hard thing NOT to do. I'm the same way! I've found myself short on the bills myself this month, again. I hate to live month by month, since I'm on social security. It really sucks. Hang in there kid!
Lots of Hugs, Linda
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